Autumn Poem (not sure of author)

“Jack O’Lanterns on porches, crudely carved, ferocious faces

Curling candle-smoke creeping, from evil cut eyes.

Hands held up, as in prayer, to crackling fireplaces.

Aroma of allspice waft from plump pumpkin pies.

Scary face masks, held tight with elastic laces

Glow-in-the-dark costumes and makeup on cheeks,

Whiskers and fangs on happy flushed faces

Toddlers and grown-ups made to look like monsters and freaks.

Harvest moons, hay rides, black and orange crêpe paper

Baskets of candy, All Hallows Eve conditions

Spooky dark old houses, await young toilet-paper drapers

Witches and goblins and appalling apparitions.

Cold swirling winds, twirling leaves in the lane

Clinging and quivering, with rattling/rustling sound.

A few golden stubborn stalwarts, in tall trees still remain,

In anxious anticipation of delicate decent to the ground.

Haystacks and cornstalks, frost on panes.

Candy corn and mincemeat pie on dining room tables.

Early evening walks o’er leaf-covered lanes.

Apple cider sipped from mason jars without labels.

Once the strutting Tom Turkey, now reclines in the oven.

Scarecrows wave back, so dapper and smiling sweet

Exuding the aura that everyone’s lovin’.

Crisp air numbs your noses, toes and feet.

Summer, Winter and Spring are beautiful seasons

And in them, I find so much of delight,

But Autumn's the season that has all the reasons

Because everything about it

Seems to Fall just right!

You catch more bees with honey than vinegar

This was so gratifying for me!  I walked into my local bakery...

In line ahead of me was a nasty demanding bitchy woman.  She was trying to use intimidation and fiery  language to get what she wanted.  And she didn't care how much it delayed the customers waiting in line behind her, or how it distressed the staff.  Apparently, the woman has the belief that if she berates and threatens people, she'll get exactly what she wants (perhaps at a discount--as compensation for her discomfort).
     In the end, she got what she wanted and made the aloof comment to the owner, "Its nothing personal; its just a transaction."  The owner wiped her brow and replied, "Well, you know precisely what you want, and I'm just glad that we satisfied you."  Yeah right.
     It became my turn.  I conducted my usual chit-chat, asking about her daughter and about when the pumpkin cheesecake would arrive on the shelves.  After my purchase, the owner beckoned me and said, "You're always so nice.  Here's something extra: a pumpkin pie--free of charge!"
     LESSON?  Which of us got better service in that shop?  By intimidation or kindness?  Both are free.  One is also better on your blood-pressure.

Job Hunting and the Interview Process in NYC

     You've decided to find a new job.  Maybe to grow your career.  Or to avoid a "going down the drain".  Perhaps to improve your income (hopefully to grow assets and minimize liabilities/debt).  You apply through a company's website.  Before you even submit your resume or begin the application, you might have to sign/acknowledge a waiver.  Like this…

"If I become employed, unless I am employed under a specific written contract or collective bargaining agreement, I agree to waive my right to a trial by jury in any action or proceeding involving any claim, whether statutory or at common law, related to or arising out of my employment or the termination of employment, including claims of discrimination.  I understand that I am waiving my rights voluntarily and knowingly and free from duress or coercion."

     Just to apply!  What a greeting!  If you hadn't read the "fine print" before checking that box, you could be fired for discriminatory reasons and have lost your rights.  Other company websites ask you to waive your rights so that they can use your contact information for "third-party" marketing and business purposes.  Other companies want to install cookies on your computer to track your internet activity.  All that… and you might not even be hired.  In fact, most people don't realize that Linkedin asks if it can monitor all the other websites that you use… unless you tell it not to, during your sign-up.  Such great greetings and "first impressions".  It gets better.  

*See my recent "What Job Ads Really Mean":
http://halfwindsorfullthrottle.blogspot.com/2014/09/help-wanted.html

     The actual "Hiring Process" in this city amazes me.  It isn't unique to the rest of the world, but it continues to astound and frustrate many people.
...after my 25 years as an employee of varied levels of six (global, national & local) organizations,
...after networking with many many many corporate-based employees,
...after befriending countless people of all job strata in all walks of life (and hearing their stories),
...after getting to know several Human Resources folks,
...after my own interviews--both applying for jobs and trying to hire people…
     I can safely say, without fear of contradiction, that many Human Resources employees/directors aren't "people persons" and oughtn't be working in HR.  Many of them approach interviews with layers of pre-conceived notions and judgements, which taint their opinions.  (I've always felt it unwise to approach opportunities with an unclear mind or preconceived perception).  Their preconceived notions are opposed to the notion of "innocent until proven" (for the candidate's sake).  Maybe they think that they're psychic?  Many folks in "hiring positions" seem hapless and helpless; they fail to communicate, and they're insouciant to the needs of the business.  Oh, they certainly do seem "tuned in" to keeping down costs for organizations (offering you as little pay as possible) and garnering favors with senior executives.  Sadly, that means that a perfectly-suited candidate will be denied, in favor of an inadequate one who is willing to work for less money.  Thus, HR folks are not interested in hiring quality people who'd benefit their organizations.  For the sake of nepotism and cost-cutting, they're not interested in removing employees that are harming their organizations.  They themselves merely want to hold onto their cushy swivel-chair jobs and corporate-level coffee breaks.
     To be fair, in some cases, the organization is too cheap to pay for talented HR staff, so young "temp assistants" are stuck doing most of the senior-level work.  Along that vein, senior-level politics, whims and favoritism all challenge HR Departments to act fairly or effectively.  (My previous unscrupulous company went through a new HR Director each year!  The first one to go--who hired me--complained about how helpless she felt.  She worked hard to recruit and retain good talent, but the company's irreverent internal practices repelled good employees.  The next two HR Directors were superficial idiots who could not have run a hot dog stand.)
     Amazingly-successful Manhattan restauranteur, Danny Meyer, said that the way HR communicates with job applicants should be the cordial "window" to what the rest of the organization is like.  Just as receptionists must make guests feel comfortable and must indicate the environment of the organization behind them.  Agree?  It's all about "first impressions".  It doesn't cost anything.  Don't they teach that to HR people??!

     Why am I ranting?  During this summer, I've had the misfortune to go through the convoluted, mismanaged, poorly communicated Hiring Processes for several large firms and a few smaller entities.  They have so many opportunities to improve.

     First off, I've heard the term "overqualified".  I replied to one interviewer that the entry-level young person they do hire instead of me won't guarantee any more longevity in the organization than I would've.  However, it would be a great bargain for them to get someone talented/experienced like myself to work for them, at the compensation level that they offered!
     [Along those lines... when I was hiring my staff at a previous job, I told my superior that I had two final candidates.  One candidate told me upfront that he could only work for 6 months, but he had an excellent resume/work ethic.  The other claimed to want long-term growth in the company, but she had meager talents.  I wanted to hire the short-term guy because even though it was half a year, I knew he'd work hard during that time.  And it'd give me time to find a replacement.  My superior overruled me and hired the girl… who had lied to us and quit 2 months later.]
     Sometimes, companies are soley interested in getting federal "Work Opportunity Tax Credits", which are given to employers who hire/retain individuals from certain "target groups": veterans, food stamp recipients, ex-felons, summer youth employees, or Supplemental Security Income recipients.  Instead of qualified candidates.  If that person works 120 hours, the employer can claim a tax credit equal to 25% of the employee's wages; 400 hours = 40%.  Companies claim over $1 billion in such credits, annually.
     Then there are the purely dishonest "companies" or online "job-search boards" that collect/rip-off candidates' contact information to sell to marketing companies.  Think about it, in a city like NYC, they collect thousands of addresses, phone #s, email addresses per week!  And they make pure profit off it, just as dishonest apartment buildings continually accept applications and charge $120 "application fees", when they have no intention of giving an apartment.  It's just year-round profit for them.
     Some companies (especially retail job offers) make you sign away your rights to letting them share your personal information with "third party affiliates" or for "marketing purposes"… just to have the privilege of applying for any kind of job via their Careers Website!  If you don't agree to that, you can't submit your resume for consideration.  Some companies are bold enough to ask that you waive your rights to allow them to put "cookies" on your computer (beyond the firewall), so they can track your online movements, see what you view, and observe your online patterns.  That's like getting marketing research from you without paying you for it.  An invasion of privacy.  Just to apply for a job that you're not guaranteed to get!
     Maybe such companies feel entitled to steal your information and elicit your unknowing permission to spy on you.  Just like Pandora's mobile app on Android devices requests permission for your identity, contacts, calendar, photos, media, files, and even call information!  (So, when you "allow" to the app's request for "permission to operate", you inadvertently agree to give away all your privacy, too.  At no charge to Pandora).
     Finally, there's New York's "at will" employment condition, so that an employer can terminate your employment whenever they want, without reason.  (Another winning aspect of life in NY).
     So, after facing all that, I was ready for my first "interview".

     *Here's a tip!  While studying at Alfred University, I had the foresight to approach the Director of the Career Development Center to get coached on interviews.  It went so well, that I spoke to the Dean of Students and the Dean of my business college and put together an event where the CDC coached a group of graduating students.  No, the CDC Director had never thought of that before.  Maybe I should've gotten a tuition discount for all my on-campus/volunteerism improvements I made?  (I made sure that the American Marketing Association, which I was president of, got credit for it).  That event went so well that they officially made it a campus-wide event, adding a luncheon that taught "table manners".  Overall, I learned that the most important question that impresses hiring folks is when you ask THEM a final question.  Such as...
- How would you describe the culture of the company?
- What do people like most about working here?
- What are your core values?
- What is the average tenure of employees?
- What is the strategic direction of the organization?
- How will my performance be measured?
- What is the managerial style of my supervisor?
- What are your objectives for this position?  
- What is one thing I can accomplish that will tell you that I have done a good job?
     It makes you stand out memorably against those people who often say "I don't have any further questions."*

     My first interview was with British luxury retail company.  The Store Director with the most clout in America (who helped "start up" almost every store) interviewed me.  Not just a typical session, she liked me enough that we had a 2 hour in-depth session!  She "grilled me" from all angles, questioned me repeatedly and seemed to savor all my answers.  She even turned away store-level issues at the time because she was enjoying our conversation so much.  Next, she said my application needed to be approved by the folks in England.  But I should expect to hear back "very soon".  The next day, I sent a hand-written Thank You note (as is my custom).  After two weeks, I sent a polite follow-up email, which was unanswered.  A week later, I left a voicemail, which was unanswered.  Two weeks later, I sent one last email.  No response.
     (I told my boyfriend, Lewis, that my opinion was… if you claim to be "customer service oriented" and expect ME to deliver excellence to YOUR organization, then you ought to show consideration and courtesy to ME during the hiring process.  Just as you'd do for customers and vendors.  If organizations expect candidates to fill out their long online applications, submit resumes and cover letters and essay samples, go through computer-generated tests, and show up punctually for a series of interviews... then at least have the decency to reply to applicants and keep them informed of statuses.  Lewis agreed.  In fact, everyone I talk to agrees.  Not the hiring people, apparently).
     A month later, I got a brisk email from her saying that they were going to move ahead with another candidate.  By then, I had completed 3 interviews with a famous jewelry chain.  I aced each of 3 interviews (for a corporate job at their office... which is in the undesirable town of Elmhurst, but which they lie about by pretending that it's in fashionable Astoria).  After a month went by, the young HR director responded to me, saying that one of the people I interviewed with had been terminated.  They were "currently reassessing the needs of the business".  30 more days after that, she informed me that they weren't going to fill the position that I had applied for and were simply going to disperse the work amongst existing staff.  Why hire/interview for a job that you're going to kill?  "The left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing."
     A professional friend of mine set me up to interview for a Store Director job at a midtown luxury menswear boutique.  They were intent on expanding across the country (and their future seemed so bright that you needed sunglass to look at it).  The Regional VP of North America interviewed me, liked me, and told me that I'd soon meet with the VP of Stores (flying in from Europe).  He left me a voicemail with the meeting place and time… but without the VP's contact information, or the guy's last name, or what he looked like!!  My call back to find out that information went unanswered.  The meeting place was the lobby of the Roosevelt Hotel, near Grand Central Terminal.  But where was I supposed to meet the man, in the vast lobby?  So, I sat in the lobby's café and looked for a man dressed as if he had stepped out of a catalog.  Sure enough, I spotted the VP of Stores as he arrived, and I politely approached him.  After seemingly impressing him (and giving him free advice on ways to improve their convoluted website, and ways to draw more business to their single NYC store), he invited me to walk with him, as he visited the store.  I appreciated the continued dialogue.  The interview ended, I sent a Thank You email… and I waited a month without reply from either gentleman.  Then, Europe sent me an email saying that they'd decided not to expand "at this time."
     By then, I was heading to my second Store Director interview with an espresso company.  The middle-age HR Director loved me and enthusiastically told me how the company wanted to build new stores in the city and across America.  (I was applying for an existing store's vacancy in management).  A former supervisor of mine knew the VP of Stores (whom I met at my second interview) and put in a good word for me.  The VP also seemed to adore me, joking alongside me, wowed by my perceptive answers, insight, and observations.  Hours flew by, while she interviewed me!  Then, to Lewis and my astonishment, two months passed without either of them answering my occasional follow-up emails.  Finally, I got a short message indicating that their company was going through a "hiring freeze".
     Why would all these large (where I expect inter-connected organization to exist) companies post job offerings, in the first place?  If they weren't ready to hire?
     I also tried networking via a well-known Recruitment Firm.  I arrived promptly to see a room full of 20-something girls, dabbling on social media, carrying shopping bags (as they returned from lunch) and gossiping together.  THEY were the recruiters/job-connectors!  My interviewer finally arrived and ushered me into a small room for our quick chat.  I wasn't impressed or hopeful--having seen their "cheap help".  In fact, they treated me the way a money-hungry realtor treats clients: they spent 2 days pushing me towards whatever jobs came across their desks, then soon forgot about me… as more candidates came through their doors.  They truly didn't care about helping people.
     Keeping upbeat, I was encouraged by 2 friends (both are retail managers) to apply for the Corporate Trainer (of USA stores) job at their global luxury retail company.  I was familiar with their VP of Stores, who basically ran the American stores (under the figurehead President).  In fact, when one of my friends told the VP that I was interested in applying, the VP replied, "Oh great, that's perfect.  Tell Ken to send his paperwork."  But when I showed up--well-suited for the interview, that VP awkwardly said that he wouldn't be interviewing me that day: it'd be HR.  However, the HR Director--and then the President--met with me but seemed to think that the VP of Stores had already interviewed me!  Unsure of what to do, I played along.  The HR Director joked that she wasn't even sure what my responsibilities would be!  !!!  A few days later, I heard that the VP had given the Trainer job to a friend of his.  Perhaps I was only asked to show up so there'd be "another candidate" in the mix--so it wouldn't look like pure favoritism.  (Incidentally, two months later, both of my friends quit from that company for their own reasons.  The company then spiraled down, losing store managers & top salespeople, ending with a new President who abruptly fired that VP).
     This blog entry doesn't even comment on my hundreds of online applications and online exams that went unanswered.  Only a few formally declined me, months later, via automatic message.
     A nation-wide company actually had such an antiquated hiring system that I got this message: "**Please note, applying using a Safari browser on a Mac device is not currently compatible with our current application system."!!  
     I "bucked up" and spent 2 hours applying online for a Client/Member Services corporate job at a well-established company of good standing and reputation: AESC.  The operational job belonged to its BlueSteps division.
     (It'd be nice if online applications had the decency to tell applicants how long/how many pages their process is going to be.  There's nothing like registering online and then starting an online application process [which sometimes idiotically makes you retype things from your already-uploaded resume] only to discover that it's 15 pages long, or involves a timed exam, or that the application takes 40 minutes!)
     AESC also required a "research paper" submitted to them (they randomly gave me the topic), as well as a sample "personal essay".  I must've done well, because it began a series of "unsigned/anonymous" emails from their Corporate Office.  (Anonymous???)  Upon "graduating" to the first phone interview with their Operations Manager (who was the hiring manager for the job), I knew he was impressed with me.  Later that week, the second interview had a snafu when the Vice President of Operations didn't show up for work.  But, he interviewed me for 30 minutes on the phone.  Having succeeded, or so it seemed, I awaited the next step--which was supposed to occur in a week.  After two weeks, my follow-up email got a response that they still had a few more candidates to check.  Meanwhile, my job references queried me because they hadn't been called yet.  A week later, my email got a reply, "Rest assured, we'll be moving onto the next step in a week's time."  Two weeks later, my next email got a response that the company had decided not to fill the job after all.  Why the *F* did I have to keep chasing after these "professionals"?  Didn't it occur to them to let me know what was happening?  Or do they all think that human applicants are as expendable as harvest workers or Kleenex tissues?
     A friend tipped me that a company was actively hiring.  It touted itself as an upscale business, full of ethics and courtesy.  I applied online (although I've since learned that many companies don't notice their online applications, and pay more attention to walk-ins and phone-ins).  After a week with no acknowledgement, I researched and found out who the hiring person was at HR.  I called and spoke with him.  He actually gave a short laugh into the phone, as if to say, "Oh my God, you're actually calling about the job?"  Maintaining my professionalism and my politeness, I indicated that I was following up on my application.  He asked if I'd gone through the online process.  I affirmed it and offered to email my resume to him... but he said, "No don't email it; that's how things get lost around here."  (Are you serious???)  Then he concluded the call with, "If we like your resume, we'll reach out to you."  He apparently didn't care who I was or that I was trying to work for his company.  It was dismissive.  It was nothing like the company's (false) public image.
     Next, I got a ridiculous offer from a mid-priced/upscale mens clothing chain.  I was applying for a Store Manager job and had progressed to my second interview.  (Some companies like to play the game of requesting your "salary requirement" or "salary history" before they announce how much they'll pay you.  Of course, that is done so they can "low-ball" you with the lowest possible amount.  Not exactly the way to lure great talent.  I also find it offensive when they ask how much you want to earn, but when you ask them how much the job pays, they don't tell you).  Anyway, we'd finally gotten through the "game", and I finally found out what my compensation would be.  Hmmm, the employers wanted me to increase sales by $2 million… but at no expense to them… and they weren't even going to pay me more than the previous "mediocre" manager.  Why should I make you more money, if I don't get any?  Why should I (who am much better) only get paid as much as the previous person (who was so ineffective)?  And how do you expect to make more income without you investing in fixing the problems?
     Above all of them, Ralph's interview process was the most shallow.  They require a video interview (so they can see you, but you don't see them) as the first stage… and ask that you write an allowance for them to have access to your cellphone or computer to do it!  Discrimination based on physical qualities?
     I enthusiastically applied at a food company that touts itself as having "the least amount of bureaucracy".  After passing 3 separate interviews--each was weeks apart--I met with the corporate hiring manager, whom I never heard from again.  
     An HR executive for Apple reached out to me.  "Work Where Extraordinary Happens!"  Apple publicly states that it hires people without computer knowledge, just to have positive-minded staff who are "trainable".  Our Monday morning phone interview went very well.  She complimented, "Your good energy comes through to me over the phone, and I'm very impressed with your resume, demeanor and customer service aptitude."  (I love their philosophy and using their products)!  She said that I'd hear from her NYC hiring team by the end of the next week.  Days after that deadline (14 days after our phone chat), I politely emailed her.  Two days later, she replied that the NYC team was "preoccupied".  An invitation to meet with them arrived at the end of the following week.  I joined a large group of applicants for a half-day of interpersonal workshops / personality tests.  Apple staff singled me out, loving my effusive enthusiasm and abilities.  Even other applicants in my "group" had to admit that I was exceptional.  Apple repeated that computer know-how wasn't as important as aura.  Weeks later, they randomly picked a store manager (from all their stores across the city) to interview me.  Sadly, I met with the one who had the worst online reviews.  I expertly answered all his questions and asked him good ones, too.  But, he seem flummoxed that I didn't know about his store's in-store cinema.  While I was experienced with iPods, iMacs, iPads & iPhones, I only had (detailed) knowledge of the new iWatch... yet hadn't tried one on yet (which I did immediately after our chat).  Apple pursued another candidate, instead.  Maybe one negative (and unchecked) comment from him outweighed the positive praise of 5 others?
     I also spoke with an acquaintance of mine, a NYC retail Store Director seeking an Assistant Manager.  Abruptly, he asked for my salary history and salary requirement.  I told him.  Then, he told me that the company wouldn't pay that much.  I nicely protested, stating that I'd already researched his company on glassdoor.com and knew what they were paying AMs.  He merely smiled and said I was clever.  I earnestly asked what his budget was?  He told me, but also said that his boss had "instructed" him to hire someone well beneath the budgeted amount: "find someone as cheap as possible to 'profit' from our desperate job climate".  
     Incidentally, that American company still supports a bloated corporate hierarchy with a plethora of corporate titles: 
Fabric Operations Manager - Denim
Fabric Operations Assistant Manager - Denim
Director of Denim
Associate Production Manager - Sweaters
Senior Designer - Sweaters
Tech Designer - Knits
Senior Manager of Fabric Research - Childswear
Computer Artist - Childswear
Senior Technical Designer - Bags
Associate Planner - Home
Manager of Acquisition Marketing
Manager of Talent Management
Junior Manager of Pre-Production Footwear
Director of Operations - Footwear
Director of Creative Presentation
Director of Global Procurement Operations
Director of Social Strategy
Decorative Coordinator for Rollout
… all for merchandise made in Asia!  How about investing in your "customer interface" staff?

     Currently, I'm applying to another company.  Today was my third separate interview (with the fourth person) and I was told to expect a call "very soon".  I've been prompt to all their interviews (which meant rescheduling my work duties), fielded their questions, considerately asked them some, been told that "we don't discuss salary/money yet", and explained how I'll bring my expertise to their business model.  I sent customized Thank You's to each interviewer.  No word yet, but I'm hopeful as always.
     I've also given up on hearing back from TD Bank.  After passing the screening interview and the HR interview, I got an appointment with the hiring manager.  He was so impressed with me that he turned to his computer to see if there were higher-level jobs available in his department for me.  There weren't.  Nonetheless, I expressed my enthusiasm for the job that I was interviewing for.  He shook my hand, looked me in the eye and told me that I'd hear from him in five business days.  More than a week later, I sent him an email that didn't get a reply.  Two days later, I left a voicemail that didn't get a reply.  Finally, I got him on the phone, and he apologized for the delay, saying that HR had just given him another candidate to interview for that position... and I would hear from him soon.  I never heard from him... which is irresponsible and inconsiderate.  If you're so impressed with an applicant, then hire them... without waiting to see if someone better comes along.  Such professionalism.  (On the TV show "Shark Tank", the investors don't like it when candidates stall on their offers to see if something better comes along).  I have no clue what went wrong, but they are still my bank because of their greatness.
      Simultaneously, I passed the screening interview for another mid-priced/upscale menswear company (which is going from "clicks to bricks").  Next, I met with the VP of Stores in America.  He absolutely adored me and explicitly said that he wanted me to be the Assistant Manager at their new NYC flagship store in the Flatiron district.  He had just hired the Store Manager; my 3rd interview was with them together.  I aced all her interview questions.  A week later, the new manager emailed me to say that she had her own candidate in mind for the Assistant Manager job, but offered me a part-time sales job.  (maybe just to appease the VP?)  I emailed back, cc the VP, to say that all along, my interviews had been for an AM role, which everyone seemed to think I was perfect for.  An offer of a part-time job (not even the Sales Lead or Keyholder jobs) seemed insulting.  She replied that after consultation with the VP, she'd offer me a full-time sales job... and if I proved myself, I might be considered for Sales Lead or Keyholder.  "Proved myself"?  My resume and references offered plenty of proof.  I declined her offer.  What a weak VP!
      Next, Lewis' friend, Christine, suggested me for an operations job at a richly famous financial services company.  Her boss told her that it was mostly up to her to find a candidate, and she'd train the candidate.  I aced the HR screening phone call.  Then, I aced the interview with Human Resources.  Christine interviewed me and gave glowing reviews.  Next, I needed 3 interviews with 3 different people, including Christine's boss.  Weeks later, HR was still having trouble scheduling my interview with Christine's boss: he cancelled twice.  Finally, HR set a date--with confirmation from all 3 people.  Last minute, Christine's boss cancelled again... but agreed to a phone interview with me the following day.  I aced both in-person interviews, back-to-back.  I was happy to see both their faces "light up" at my answers to their questions.  Christine had told me what the compensation was, so I asked for a bit more--leaving room for a counter-offer (which never happened).  Both interviews lasted longer than expected--always a good sign--and both told Christine how impressed they were with me (one woman was a supervisor with 15 years there).  Finally, my phone interview with Christine's boss happened: a brief 20 minutes.  I gave him the SAME answers as I'd given previously.  A week later, Christine sadly told me that her boss felt that I had "avoided" his questions. !!??  Suddenly, a job that had seemed "a sure thing" was pulled from Christine's hands.  She texted me, "He told me in the beginning that as long as you weren't a total numb-nuts and if I agreed to train you, he'd hire you since we have an existing relationship."  She discovered that a "minority woman" had NOT vacated the role, so the job had been withheld from me... even though the woman routinely broke down crying at her desk, unable to cope with the stress... and consistently earned poor performance reviews.  Christine and I were disgusted.  Yet, I followed up with the 15-year veteran, hoping for an opening on her team (that I learned about), since she was impressed with me.  If I get a reply from her, I'll post it here.

     All along, my friends bolster and encourage me.  They point me to openings that they see.  My job references (an impressive bunch, I must admit, including a series of fond ex-colleagues and high-ranking personal references) are always prepared to help me.  (Sadly, they can't get me jobs at their companies… sigh).  
     Words of a distant friend echo, "You're job will come.  It's not in vain that you have this desire in your heart.  Keep doing what you know, always looking, and one day you will find it!"

     A month after posting this, a dear friend emailed me to agree, "My supervisor and I worked on my resume for hours to apply for a position.  I worked hard, meeting each required qualification.  Due to upper-level favoritism, they claimed that I didn't meet the minimum requirements!  Then, there were 2 other jobs I applied for, but the jobs got cancelled.  It's so frustrating to be in this mirage--a glimmer of possible hope--for nothing."


     Maybe companies have forsaken plain little ordinary courtesy.  That's pretty important.  Caring for our "fellow man" is only the blood, bone and sinew of democracy.  I pray for good news soon; it'd be nice to add future blog entries about a delightful work environment (for a change), and about a place where folks contribute to growing success (for themselves, clients, stakeholders and the organization).  It'd be nice to deal with other humans who treat you like a part of the respect-worthy human race.  No man was born to be a failure.

Relatedly, please click on these links for other insights:

https://halfwindsorfullthrottle.blogspot.com/2015/08/priorities-exterior-or-interior.html

https://halfwindsorfullthrottle.blogspot.com/2015/08/speaking-of-inexperienced-hired-help.html

https://halfwindsorfullthrottle.blogspot.com/2015/11/problem-with-american-retail-why-work.html

Great Quotes from Movies (Films) and TV

Louise: What interesting china!  Why, it looks like young men playing leap-frog.  Is it Greek?

Advisor: People want leadership.  In the absence of genuine leadership, they will listen to anyone who steps up to the microphone.  They're so thirsty for it, they'll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there's no water, they'll drink the sand!

President Sheperd: We've had Presidents who were beloved, who couldn't find a coherent sentence with two hands and a flashlight. People don't drink the sand because they're thirsty, Lewis. They drink it because they don't know the difference. 

Carmen Sternwood: You're not very tall are you?
Private Investigator Philip Marlowe: Well, I, uh... I try to be.

Eddie Mars: Is that any of your business?
Philip Marlowe: I could make it my business.
Eddie Mars: I could make your business mine.

Philip Marlowe: Oh, you wouldn't like it.  The pay's too small.

Vivian: You go too far, Marlowe.
Marlowe: Those are harsh words to throw at a man, especially when he's walking out of your bedroom.

Philip Marlowe: I don't mind if you don't like my manners.  I don't like them myself.  They're pretty bad.  I grieve over them on long winter evenings.

Philip Marlowe: My, my, my.  Such a lot of guns around town, and so few brains!

Rick Blaine: How can you close me down?  On what grounds?
Capt. Renault: I'm shocked ... shocked to find that gambling is going on in here.
Croupier: Your winnings, sir.
Capt. Renault: Oh, thank you ... very much. Everybody out at once!

Capt. Renault: Major Strasser has been shot.  Round up the usual suspects.

Rick Blaine: Here's looking at you, kid.

Rick Blaine: I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Capt. Renault: What on Earth brought you to Casablanca?
Rick Blaine: My health; I came to Casablanca for the waters.
Capt. Renault: The waters?  What waters?  We're in the desert!
Rick Blaine: I was misinformed.

Ugarte: You despise me, don't you?
Rick Blaine: If I gave you any thought, I probably would.

Yvonne: Where were you last night?
Rick: That's so long ago, I don't remember.
Yvonne: Will I see you tonight?
Rick: I never make plans that far ahead. 

Mitch: This guy is not normal.  I'm telling you.  Did you see his eyes?  He's got crazy eyes.  He's a lunatic.  I'm telling you, we are goin’ into the wilderness, being lead by a lunatic.  Why are you looking at me like that?  He's behind me, isn't he? 

Mrs. White: Are you a cop?
Mr. Green: No, I'm a plant.
Miss Scarlet: A plant? I thought men like you were usually called a fruit.

Colonel Mustard: Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?
Wadsworth: You don't need any help from me, sir.

Mrs. White: He threatened to kill me in public.
Miss Scarlet: Why would he want to kill you in public?
Wadsworth: I think she meant, he threatened in public to kill her.
Miss Scarlet: Oh. 

Kathryn: Everybody loves me, and I intend to keep that way.

Hawkins: Okay, I think I've got it!  The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true! Right?
Griselda: Right, but there's been a change.  They broke the chalice from the palace.
Hawkins: They broke the chalice from the palace?!
Griselda: And replaced it with a flagon.
Hawkins: A flagon?
Griselda: With the figure of a dragon.
Hawkins: Flagon with a dragon.  But did you put the pellet with the poison in the vessel with the pestle?
Griselda: No!  The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon!  The vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true!
Hawkins: The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon; the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true.
Griselda: Just remember that.

Robert Jones: Have you no shame?
Morgan: No... I can't think where I've left it.

Joe: I don't think you're fit to handle the defense in this case.
Kaffee: You don't even know me.  Ordinarily it takes someone hours to discover I'm not fit to handle a defense.

Kaffee: Is this your signature?
Dawson: Yes sir.
Kaffee: You don't have to call me sir.  Is this your signature?
Dawson: Sir, yes sir.
Kaffee: And you certainly don't have to do it twice in one sentence. 

Niles: Don't call me irrational! It makes me crazy when you do that.

Frasier: Have you any idea of appropriate baseball-watching attire?
Niles: Obviously, you failed to detect the subtle diamond pattern in my tie.

Robert: Y'know, Gloria, how about I buy us dinner and a lot of martinis?
Gloria: Sounds great, except for the dinner part.

Kermit the Frog: We've got to catch those thieves red-handed.
Beauregard: What color are their hands now?

Submarine Captain Ramius: Most things in here don't react well with bullets.

The name's Bond, James Bond. 

Lockwood: Cosmo, call me a cab.
Cosmo: Okay, you're a cab.

François: Do you know what kind of a bomb it was?
Inspector Clouseau: The exploding kind.

Felix Ungar: In other words, you're saying you want me to leave?
Oscar Madison: Not in other words! Those are the perfect words!

Oscar: I hate little notes on my pillow.  Like this morning. 'We're all out of cornflakes. F.U.'  It took me three hours to figure out that 'F.U.' was Felix Unger. 

Murray: He took a whole bottle of pills!  My God, get an ambulance!
Oscar Madison: Wait a minute, will ya?!  We don't even know what kind!
Murray: What difference does it make?!  He took a whole bottle!
Oscar Madison: Well, maybe they were vitamins!  He could be the healthiest man in the room!

Oracle: You're more handsome than I thought.  I can see why she likes you.
Neo: Who?
Oracle: Not too bright, though.

Admiral Collingwood: Now, gentlemen, let us do something today, which the world may talk of hereafter. (before the Battle of Trafalgar, 21 October 1805)

General Patton: Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country.  He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.

Walt Disney: Somehow I can't believe that there are any heights that can't be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true.  This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in four C's.  They are Curiosity, Confidence, Courage and Constancy, and the greatest of all is Confidence.  When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionably.

Noel Coward: I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Rosemary: Lunch.

J. Pierpont: Huh?

Rosemary: I said, "lunch".

J. Pierpont: What about "lunch"?

Rosemary: I'd love to!

Max Bialystock: Shut up!  I'm having a rhetorical conversation!

Remington Steele: North by Northwest, Cary Grant, James Mason, MGM, 1959.
Laura Holt: I never saw it.
Remington Steele: Laura, sometimes you're very difficult to talk to.

Dimitri Mishkin: So, by what means shall we execute you, Commander Bond?

James Bond: What, no small talk?  No chit-chat?  That's the trouble with the world today.  No one takes the time to do a really sinister interrogation anymore.  It's a lost art.

Melvin: Sell “crazy” somewhere else. We're all stocked up here!

Buzz Lightyear: I've set my laser from stun to kill.
Woody: Oh, great!  If anyone attacks, we can blink 'em to death!

Kris Kringle: Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to.

Renaldo: I always say you don't know who a man is until you know what his dream is.

Detective Sam Spade: You do sell books, right?

Clerk: What do those look like, grapefruit?

Amber: Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.
Dionne: Well, there goes your social life.

Ewan McGregor: Isn't she the most beautiful woman?  I have a film I'd like to be in her with.  I mean, I'd like to be with her in.

Ollie Dee: So far, so good.

Stanley Dum: It wasn’t far.  We only came across the street.

Walter: Look, I only acted like any husband that didn't want his home broken up.
Meredith: What home?
Walter: "What home"?!  Don't you remember the home I promised you?

Armand: My God, this is like riding a psychotic horse to a burning stable!

David Huxley: Insanity doesn’t run in my family.  It gallops.

Nick Charles: Come on.  Let’s get something to eat: I’m thirsty.

Groucho Marx: And if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, it tastes much more like prunes than rhubarb does.

Mrs. Ritterhouse: Captain, this leaves me speechless.

Captain Spaulding: Well, see that you remain that way.

Stanley Dum: You’d better come up dead or alive!

Ollie Dee: How can he come up dead if he’s alive?!

Stanley Dum: Let’s drop a rock on him and that’ll make him dead while he’s alive.

Ollie Dee: Now you’re talkin’.

David Huxley: Now it isn't that I don't like you, Susan, because, after all, in moments of quiet, I'm strangely drawn toward you, but—well, there haven't been many moments of quiet.

[In jail] Susan Vance: Anyway, David, when they find out who we are, they'll let us out.
David Huxley: When they find out who you are, they'll pad the cell.

Katzenback: Now you listen to me, Junior.  Don't you think that I don't know what's going on, because I do know, and now you know that I know.
Walt Whalen: Listen, I don't know what you know that I know, but I do know that you don't know what you think you know.
Katzenback: Oh no?
Walt Whalen: No… Come along, Penny, apparently this man is an idiot!

Claudette: Nobody comes into my dressing room uninvited!  What do you think that star means?

Roger: You’re Jewish?

Nick Charles: The important thing is the rhythm.  Always have rhythm in your cocktail shaking.  A Manhattan you always shake to fox-trot time, a Bronx to two-step time, and a dry martini you always shake to waltz time.

Jack: I'm not looking forward to jumping in after you.  But like I said, I don't see a choice.  I guess I'm kinda hoping you'll come back over the rail and get me off the hook here.
Rose: You're crazy!
Jack: That's what everybody says, but with all due respect miss, I'm not the one hanging off the back of a ship here.

Lt. Frank Drebin: Have you noticed anything different about him?
Jane Spencer: Well, only that he's a foot taller, and he seems to be left-handed now... Frank, what are you trying to tell me?  That Quentin has somehow found an exact double for Dr. Mainheimer and that tomorrow that double will give a fraudulent report to the president?
Lt. Frank Drebin: Why that's brilliant.  A lot better than what I came up with.

[The three musketeers and D'Artagnan are escaping from the Cardinal's men in his own coach]
Porthos: Champagne?
Athos: We're in the middle of a chase, Porthos.
Porthos: You're right - something red.

Porthos: This sash was a gift to me from the Queen of America.
D'Artagnan: There's no Queen of America!
Porthos: I beg to differ, infant.  We're on quite intimate terms, unless you can prove otherwise.

Mr. Keating: Now in this class, you can either call me Mr. Keating, or if you're slightly more daring—O' Captain, My Captain.

Inspector Lestrade: On the way, I'll tell you all I know.
Sherlock Holmes: We're not going very far then, are we?

Matt Beemish: I'm the court psychiatrist.
Richard Nugent: Come back in an hour. I'll be crazy by then.

Betty: I can't open the door now; I'm in my lingerie!
Roger: All right, I'll wait 'til you take it off.

Ebert Mae Souse: How'd you get in here?
Jerry: Well, the door was closed, so I opened it and came right in.

Miss Graveley: How old do you think I am, young man?
Marlowe: Hmm… fifty.  How old do you think you are?
Miss Graveley: Forty-two!  I can show you my birth certificate.
Marlowe: I'm afraid you're going to have to show more than your birth certificate to convince a man of that.

Elsie Mae Souse: Shall I bounce a rock off his head?
Agatha Souse: Respect your father, darling.  What kind of a rock?

S.B. Bellows: Never mind where I tell you to stand.  You stand where I tell you!

Alfred Poelzig: The phone is dead.  Did you hear that?  Even the phone is dead!

(Jack Benny comes in soaked.)
Rochester: Is it rainin' outside?
Jack Benny: No, Rochester, I was eating a grapefruit and it got out of control.

Niles (an excuse to leave): Well, this has been kind of fun, but I must really run.  I'm conducting a seminar for multiple personality disorders and it takes forever to fill out the nametags.

Niles: I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, nonfat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing but not to leave me with a moustache.

Kevin: Yeah, but underneath all that stuff he's my kind of guy—naked.

Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Magic and Wizardry: It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts.  However, this mirror will give us neither knowledge nor truth.  Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they have seen, or have been driven mad, not knowing if what it shows is real or even possible.  It is no good to dream and forget to live.

Lee Jordan: And the Quaffle is taken immediately by Angelina Johnson of Gryffindor—what an excellent Chaser that girl is, and rather attractive, too.

Hermione: Aren’t you two ever going to read Hogwart’s, A History?

Ron: What’s the point?  You know it by heart; we can just ask you.

Sirius Black: If you want to know what a man is like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.

Dumbledore: It is our actions that make us who we are, far more than our abilities.

(After George has turned on numerous humidifiers and machines to aid his sleep)
George: The sound of that rain's gonna keep me up all night.
Seinfeld: I'm surprised you can hear it over there in Mission Control!

Martin: Boy, I whooped you—especially when I trapped your horse in the right corner.
Frasier: Let's call it a night, shall we?
Martin: Okay, when I trapped your knight in the corner.
Frasier: No, let's call it a night, Dad.

Frasier: My God, what was that?  Was that a gun? 

Martin: Niles bought a starter pistol to protect himself with.

Niles: And there's no need to get snippy.  Accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry.  Was I snippy?  I didn't realize that it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!

Waiter: Some people find that coffee blend too intense.
Daphne: I like something that holds its body on my tongue.
(Niles spills the cream all over the table.)

Frasier: I’ll go prepare the profiteroles.
Niles: I'll help.  He always overpowders.
Martin: I'm sure Old Man Kennedy felt this kind of pride when his boys would go out and play touch football.

Niles orders his steak: I'd like a, a petit filet mignon, very lean, not so lean that it lacks flavor, but not so fat that it leaves drippings on the plate.  And I don't want it cooked - just lightly seared on either side, pink in the middle; not a true pink, but not a mauve either, something in between, bearing in mind the slightest error either way, and it's ruined.

Nile's explanation for why he didn't listen to Frasier's show that afternoon: Oh, I'm sorry.  I meant to, but I had a crisis with a patient.  One of my multiples had a new personality emerge—a one-hundred-and-ten-year-old Frenchwoman.  It would have been too risky to put off his therapy.  Plus, I would have missed out on a wonderful recipe for bouillabaisse.

Frasier: I've done some research and I've discovered that most unexpected deaths occur in the home.  And Daphne, this is where you come in, the actual finding of the body.
Daphne:  Ooh, save the best part for me, eh?  Well, that's all right.  I'm a health care provider.  I've had my fair share of patients die on me.
Martin: That's a comfort.

Frasier: (looks at his watch)
Martin: I saw that!
Frasier: I'm not bored!  I was simply wondering how long we've been sitting here enjoying ourselves.

Martin: Oh, you have lots of girlfriends.
Niles: Oh, really?  Let's count. Maris.  There's Doris, my pen pal in 4th grade.  Then there's that girl who lured me to the stairwell to show me her underpants.

Martin: I invited her down to the corner bar.
Niles: Coroners have their own bar?
Martin: No, Niles!  Corner bar!

Cher: Do you prefer "fashion victim" or "ensemble-challenged"?

Frasier: Have you been seeing a man?
Daphne: Only when I close my eyes and concentrate.

Niles: Oh, I walked out all right.  And slammed the door behind me.  Of course, it was that Fourteenth Century Bavarian Cathedral door, so I had to get two of the servants to help me slam it, but what it lacked in spontaneity, it made up for in resonance.

Frasier (in response about Niles' childhood imaginary friend, Sheldon): Ah, yes, that troubled little fellow who was always wetting your bed.

Dr. Brown: He's in a '46 Ford; we're in a DeLorean.  He'd rip through us like we were tin foil.

Pippo Popolino: Don't be frightened, Francesca.  I'm scared enough for all of us.

Wally Campbell: Let's all drink gin and make wry (rye) faces.

Egbert: I went out with a girl once who told me to go jump in the lake... When I got back, she was gone.

Regina Lampert: I already know an awful lot of people and until one of them dies, I couldn't possibly meet anyone else.
Peter Joshua: Well, if anyone goes on the critical list, let me know.

Regina Lampert: Of course, you won't be able to lie on your back for a while, but then you can lie from any position, can't you?

Marvin the Martian: I claim this planet in the name of Mars!  Isn't that lovely?

Mr. Humphries: Are you free, Mr. Lucas?
Mr. Lucas: Well, you just seemed to catch me in the middle of nothing.

Charlie Chan: Grain of sand in eye may hide mountain.

Mayor John Pappas: Be careful how you judge people, most of all friends.  You don't sum up a man's life in one moment.  There's no simple yes or no.  A man's life is not the bricks.  It's the mortar—it's the stuff that lies between—the stuff you can't see.

George Bailey: Just remember this, Mr. Potter: that this rabble you're talking about, they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community.  Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath?

Guardian Angel Clarence: One man's life touches so many others, when he's not there it leaves an awfully big hole.

Harry Bailey: A toast to my big brother George.  The richest man in town!

W.C. Fields: That kid's so dumb, he doesn't even know what time it is.
Charley Frobisher: By the way, what time is it?

W.C. Fields: I don't know.

Tom Destry Jr.: Oh, I think I'll stick around.  Y'know, I had a friend once who used to collect postage stamps.  He always said the one good thing about a postage stamp: it always sticks to one thing 'til it gets there, y'know?  I'm sorta like that, too.

Kitty: I was reading a book the other day.
Mrs. Perishot (Nearly trips with surprise): Reading a book??  You??
Kitty: Yes. It's all about civilization or something.  A nutty kind of a book.  Do you know that the guy says that machinery is going to take the place of every profession?
Mrs. Perishot (Appraising her outfit): Oh, my dear girl.  That's something you need never worry about.

Count Dracula: Good evening, I am Dracula.  I bid you welcome.

Nicholas Van Ryn: But I will not live by ordinary standards.  I will not run with the pack.  I will not be chained into a routine of living, which is the same for others.  I will not look to the ground and move on the ground with the rest—so long as there are those mountaintops, and clouds, and limitless space.

Charlie Bowers: Is there anything I can do?
Chester Kent: Yeah.  See that window over there?
Charlie Bowers: Yes.
Chester Kent: Take a running jump, and I think you can make it.

Johnny Jones: I'm in love with you, and I want to marry you.
Carol Fisher: I'm in love with you, and I want to marry you.
Johnny Jones: Hmm... that cuts down our love scene quite a bit, doesn't it?

Editor: There are only three kinds of people in the world: thinkers, newspapermen and cattle.

Captain Daniel Gregg: You must make your own life amongst the living and, whether you meet fair winds or foul, find your own way to harbor in the end.

(WWII Radio broadcast from London)
Johnny Jones: Hello, America.  I've been watching a part of the world being blown to pieces.  A part of the world as nice as Vermont [siren sounds] and Virginia and California lies ripped up and bleeding like a steer in a slaughterhouse [bombs begin exploding].  Ok, I can't read the rest of this because the lights have gone out, so I'll just have to talk "off the cuff".  All that noise you hear isn't static—it's death, coming to London.  Yes, they're coming here now.  You can hear the bombs falling on the homes.  Don't tune me out, hang on a while—this is a big story, and you're part of it.  It's too late to do anything here now except stand in the dark and let them come... as if the lights were all out everywhere, except in America.  Keep those lights burning, cover them with steel, ring them with guns, build a canopy of battleships and bombing planes around them.  America, hang on to your lights: they're the only lights left in the world!

Mimi: I don't care what you did as a boy.
Guy: Well, I did nothing as a girl, so there goes my childhood.

Elwood P. Dowd: Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, doctor, and I'm happy to state that I finally won out over it.  C’mon, Harvey.

Bill Carter: If you never saw him before, why'd you let him kiss you?
Ethel Hillary: Well, after all, Bill, there is such a thing as hospitality.

Jack Benny: Age is strictly a case of mind over matter.  If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

John Cleese: I find it rather easy to portray an executive.  Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

Errol Flynn: My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

Spider Robbins: Where did you learn to sing, anyway?
Violet Jones: I spent four years in Paris. Of course, I'm not a virtuoso.
Spider Robbins: Not after four years in Paris, no.
Violet Jones: I trust we're both talking about the same thing?

Baravelli: You gotta brother?
Mullen: No.
Baravelli: You gotta sister?
Mullen: Yeah.
Baravelli: Well-a, you sister, she's a very sick man, you better come with us.
Mullen: Yeah?  What happened to her?
Baravelli: She hadda accident in her automobile.
McCarthy: She has no automobile.
Baravelli: Well-a, maybe she's-a fall off-a horse.  I don't-a look very close.  Come on, we take you in our car.
Mullen: You will, eh?  Well, I have no sister.
Baravelli: That's all right.  We no gotta car. Come on.

Lauren Bacall: You know how to whistle, don't you?  You just put your lips together and blow.

Audrey Hepburn: For a burglar, you're not very brave, are you?
Peter O’Toole: I'm a society burglar.  I don't expect people to rush about, shooting at me.

Lady Bracknell: Thirty-five is an attractive age.  London is full of women of the highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.

Gwendolyn Fairfax: I never travel without my diary.  One should always have something sensational to read on a train.

Peggy: Won't you join me in a glass of wine?
Professor Quail: You get in first, and if there's room enough, I'll join you.

Alexander Andrews: I asked you a simple question!  Do you love her?
Peter Warne: YES!!  But don't hold that against me; I'm a little screwy myself!

George Bailey: You sit around here and you spin your little webs and you think the whole world revolves around you and your money!  Well, it doesn't, Mr. Potter!  In the whole vast configuration of things, I'd say you were nothing but a scurvy little spider!

Dobson: Here, take this tea up to Aunt Matilda.
Eileen: How will I find her?
Dobson: Drunk, as usual.

Charles Pike: You ought to put handles on that skull.  Maybe you could grow geraniums in it.

Ginger Rogers: Hello? Is this the hotel manager?  It sounds like someone upstairs is playing musical chairs with an elephant.  Move one of them out, will you?  I want to get some sleep.

Waldo Lydecker: Love is eternal.  It has been the strongest motivation for human actions throughout history.  Love is stronger than life.  It reaches beyond the dark shadow of death.

Alfred Hitchcock: Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms.  And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.

Sam Spade: If you actually were as innocent as you pretend to be, we'd never get anywhere.

Mr. Osborne: Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

Joel Cairo: You always have a very smooth explanation...
Rudy: What do you want me to do, learn to stutter?

Patricia (admiringly): Hey, handsome. What kind of vitamins do you use?

Lorna Bounty: It is difficult for anyone to speak when you listen only to yourself.

Lieutenant: Nature is what we are put in this world to rise above.

Armand: They had forgotten the first lesson: that we must be powerful, beautiful, and without regret.

Jack Devlin: I reckon you've got to try a few things in life without a safety net.  How else are you going to know you're alive?

Eve Harrington: I will regard this great honor not so much as an award for what I have achieved, but a standard to hold against what I have yet to accomplish.

Colonel Haki: The most important thing to know about an assassination is not who fired a shot, but who paid for the bullet!

Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon.  That's impossible. Instead, try to realize the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Spoon boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: There is no spoon?
Spoon boy: Then you'll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.

Christof: Listen to me, Truman.  You can leave if you want; I won’t try to stop you.  But, you won’t survive out there.  I’ve watched you your whole life.  I saw you taking your first step, your first word, your first kiss.  I know you better than you know yourself.

Truman: You never had a camera inside my head.

Groucho: Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Groucho: Those are my principles.  If you don’t like them, I have others.

Groucho: I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

Eve Kendall: I'm a big girl.
Roger Thornhill: Yeah, and in all the right places, too.

Mrs. Doyle: When lovers see and like each other, they oughta come together—wham!—like a couple of taxis on Broadway, and not sit around analyzing each other like two specimens in a bottle.

Mr. Blandings: What's with this kissing all of a sudden?  I don't like it.  Every time he goes out of this house, he shakes my hand and kisses you!
Mrs. Blandings: Would you prefer it the other way around?

Don Juan: My dear friend, there's a little bit of Don Juan in every man, and since I am Don Juan, there must be more of it in me!

Tim: It’s nothing, Mary.  Just a private joke between me and whoever my analyst is going to be.

Jim Wright: If the Lord hadn't intended man to have a three-Martini lunch, then why do you suppose He put all those olive trees in the Holy Land?

Longfellow Deeds: People in this city are funny.  They work so hard at living they forget how to live.

Mr. Holland: Playing music is supposed to be fun.  It's about heart, it's about feelings, moving people, and something beautiful, and it's not about notes on a page.  I can teach you notes on a page, I can't teach you that other stuff.

Principal Jacobs: A teacher has two jobs; fill young minds with knowledge, yes, but more important, give those minds a compass so that knowledge doesn't go to waste.

William Hundert: Great ambition without contribution is without significance.

Heraclitus: You cannot step twice into the same river.  A missed opportunity is lost forever.

Judge: Are you trying to show contempt for this court?
Johnny: No, your honor, I'm doing my best to hide it!

Mrs. Reeves: I guess I'll run along.
Ronnie Hastings: Must you go?  I was just poisoning the tea.

Mr. White: That dress does things for you.  Doesn't do me any harm either.

Gideon: Well, I'm afraid I can't say anything good about her.
Cuthbert J. Twillie: I can see what's good.  Tell me the rest.

Godfrey: May I be frank?
Molly: Is that your name?

Narrator: There are eight million stories in the naked city.  This has been one of them.

Leon: It's midnight. Look at the clock, one hand has met the other hand, they kiss.  Isn't that wonderful?

Wile E. Coyote: Allow me to introduce myself.  My name is Wile E. Coyote, genius.  Let's get down to basics, you are a rabbit and I am going to eat you for supper.  Now, don't try to get away, I am more muscular, more cunning, faster and larger than you are, and I am a genius, while you could hardly pass the entrance examinations to kindergarten, so I'm going to give you the customary two minutes to say your prayers.
Bugs Bunny (dismissively): Sorry, Mac, the lady of the house ain't home and besides, we mailed you people a check last week.

Scarlet O’Hara: After all, tomorrow is another day. (with end music)

CC: Oh, I just could not get out of bed this morning.
Niles: Someone put a big rock over your coffin again?

Eloise: CC, you're so beautiful, I don't understand, are you single by choice?
Niles: Yes, but not hers.

Felix Ungar (waking up in the car): How long was I asleep?
Oscar Madison (driving): I don't know.  I didn't know you wanted me to time it.

Richard: Look, we have to have a plan, agreed?
Charles: Agreed.
Richard: Okay.  What do you think the plan should be?
Charles: I don't care.  I agreed.  I did my part.

Sheriff Buford T. Justice: There is no way—NO WAY—that you came from my genes!  The first thing I'm gonna do when I get home is punch your momma in the mouth!

Junior: My hat blew off, daddy.
Buford T. Justice: I hope your goddamn head was in it.

Linus Laraby: I pay for your life, David!  My life makes your life possible.

David Laraby: I resent that…

Linus Laraby: So do I!

Robert: You're a half hour late.
Larry: Only a half hour?  I'm usually forty-five minutes late.  I'm early today!

Lucy: There are just two things keeping me from dancing in that show.

Ricky: Your feet?

Brian: This isn't the White House.  George Washington hasn't slept here.
Justin: He's the only guy who hasn't.

(After Q introduces Bond to his successor)
James Bond: If you're Q, does that make him R?
R: Ah yes, the legendary 007 wit... or at least half of it.

Frank: It’s Christmas Eve!  It’s the one night of the year where, we smile a little easier, we laugh a little harder, and for a few hours out of the whole year, we are the people we want to be.  And if you waste that miracle, you'll burn for it.  Believe me: I know what I'm talking about!  But there are people in the world who are having a hard time making their miracle happen.  There are people out in the cold.  There are people who don't have enough to eat.  You can take an old blanket out of the closet and say "here" you can make them a sandwich and say "oh by the way, here".  And it's not just the poor and the hungry, it's all of us.  We need to keep that miracle alive.

Lt. Capt. James Doolittle: There's nothing stronger than the heart of a volunteer.

Captain Pierce: Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s perfect.  It just means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections.

Teacher: What did you choose as the Seven Wonders of the World?

Student: I chose ‘to see, to taste, to touch, to hear, to feel, to laugh, and to love’.

Harry Trimble: That's why we call it The Majestic.  Maybe you had worries and problems out there, but once you came through those doors, they didn't matter anymore.  And you know why?  That was Olympus.  I mean, this television thing.  Why would you want to stay at home and watch a little box?  Because it's convenient? Because you don't have to get dressed up, because you could just sit there?  How can you call that entertainment—alone in your living room?  Where's the other people?  Where's the audience?  Where's the magic?  I'll tell you, in a place like this, the magic is all around you.  You just have to see it.

Frank Sinatra: Every man dies, but not every man really lives.

Frost: I choose the road less traveled by and that has made all the difference.

Sylvester: The main trouble with the world is there are too many people who don’t know where they’re going, and they want to get there too fast. 

Grace: While I'm not religious in the traditional sense, I am not without faith because I have faith in humanity.  It's faith in people and their potential, that we're all fallible but also forgiving, that our own fragility can be the source of our greatest strength, if we can learn that the diffrences that separate us are dwarfed by the similarities that connect us.  And I have faith in you.

Somebody once said to me: ‘Johnny, you'll either end up sweeping the streets or owning them.’

It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself.

Cary Grant: My formula for living is quite simple.  I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night.  In between, I occupy myself as best I can.