Gay Men Questioning Why It's All The Same

     Justin is Lewis' former coworker, and he maintains a lifestyle that is "stereotypically gay".  Certain people might call him a slut.  Many can't figure out how his job as a waiter gives him enough money to constantly be on vacation in far-flung exotic places... 

...often alongside older men.  

     Justin usually dresses in "stereotypical gay" ways: tank-top & shorts, booty shorts, thongs, and slutty leather.

     Many gay guys do the same thing--thinking that by looking/acting alike, they're really being themselves.  Nope.

     While at the Miami Winter Party--that so many New Yorkers flee to--Justin posted this picture on Facebook... 

...and a thread of comments about it caught my attention.  Here it is (with my thoughts in parentheses):


Guy: I am gay, but why dress like that in public!!  That is why straight people do not respect us.  Sorry, just my opinion.
(Men are getting fed up with the reputation created by social-media-hungry twinks and party-crazed gay guys).

Justin: And I suppose that a sexy nurse costume worn during Halloween is why people don't respect women?  We attended a party wearing costumes appropriate for the event.  Sorry this offended you and you alone.
(His self-absorbed dementia doesn't recognize anyone else as having a "point of view": he's a typical gay brat)...

Guy: You said it--for Halloween... once a year!  But every single Gay Pride or gay nightclub has the same story: guys practically naked.  For what?  Come on, lets show society we are better than selling our bodies, acting like air-heads, and body-shaming others.  Maybe things will change for the better.

Justin: Maybe one day you'll begin to understand that blending into a sea of boring isn't a good thing.  (That's his superior attitude on the rest of humanity.)  The theatrics, color, creativity, and dynamics we add to the world only makes life more fun.  (It's all self-serving, and it's not done to beatify the whole world--just his).  If I'm attending a beach party in a speedo, it doesn't mean I'm not living a normal day-to-day life.  (His all-expense-paid "party life" is NOT normal).  Don't assume I'm not fighting for our rights on the steps of a courthouse.  (He's not--because he's always at a gym, orgy, or party).  You're being just as narrow-minded as people who oppose our equality in society are.  We can be many different things.  (Really?  Why do all these pictures look the same?)

Guy: I am not better than anyone, but I respect myself.  I am a professional and I behave like one.  Don't get mad--and you can block me if you want (because that's what shallow people do at the first sign of contradiction)--but you know it's only vanity--nothing more than excuse to be promiscuous.  Last week, I attended a great party, and nobody needed to show their bodies to have fun.  Sorry, but I don't think it should be a peer pressure requirement.  (In the picture below, where is Justin's aforementioned variety/creativity?  They all the look the same.)

Justin: You perceive it to be a promiscuous environment.  Being self-employed, I don't have the same conservative restraints that you have placed on your own life--by your own life choices.  (Exactly: he maintains his life through being promiscuous).

Guy: I would like to see a party where our community doesn't only focus on bodies and pretty faces.  As a teacher, many of the complains from my students about gay people is the image that we sell to them, and to be honest I agree with them.

Justin: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  If you ever attend one of these events, you will see a range of ages, ethnic backgrounds, and genders.  (But not body types or waist sizes or sensibilities).  The sale of sex appeal is not exclusive to the LGBT community.  It's an issue with society in general.  (That's no excuse to follow the lowest common denominator, simply because you want to be Peter Pan forever and not contribute to society).

Guy: I'm from Spain, and I've seen many gay events in Europe.  Now, in Miami, I see more of the same thing: people selling sex to be accepted by the group.  We tell teenage girls NOT to use sex to gain acceptance... yet look at most gay guys!  Yes, sex happens in every community, but at least straight people show some balance in their lifestyle.

Justin: Seriously!?  I disagree.  Dressing or acting in a particular way in order to gain someone else's acceptance is what keeps us marginalised because it gives them power.  

(That's nonsense!  How can you "be yourself" when you've stripped away what made you unique and layered on false stereotypes that you weren't born with?  You've given away your own power.  Besides that, Justin is clearly dressing and acting a particular way to gain the group's acceptance--just like the guy observed.  Justin is in denial).

Then, other men began agreeing with the first guy.

Second Guy: No offense, but your profile pics don't look like you're looking for respect!  Or a relationship.

Third Guy: (about Justin) He's the reason you don't date city guys.  Don't look for the "bad boy"; look for the "nice guy" who's willing to open up and be vulnerable. 

Fourth Guy: (to Justin) You're a confused little boy.  You're not ready for maturity yet.  

Fifth Guy: I'm really surprised that this picture has so many likes.  Where's your power, people?  Do you all have to dress the same way?  Pose the same way?  Be slaves to your iPhone cameras?  Isn't that conforming?  Are you really willing to give up your identity to be comfortable with "gay mediocrity"?  I thought the gay community was stronger than this.  But, if you're just gonna give up, then you only have yourself to blame.  As RuPaul says, "If you don't love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?" 

By then, Justin avoided their input and retreated to taking more shirtless selfies.