Sexual Innuendo Overheard on The Great British Baking Show

 

     Firstly, I will explain that the show is actually called The Great British Bake Off.  However, General Mills--an American conglomerate of processed foods--has a trademark of the phrase "bake-off" in the United States for its subsidiary: Pillsbury.  Unwilling to share that common-spoken expression, it forced the United Kingdom's series to be renamed for any broadcasts that are aired in America.   

     Lewis and I love watching this show.  Creativity and synergy abound in every episode!  We like how the show does not involve backstabbing, drama, and cluelessness amongst its contestants.  During one episode, we noticed an abundance of sexual innuendo: sentences that can be sensually misconstrued. They made us laugh, so I'll share them with you.  Here they are:

"Wow, that is so big!"  "That is how it should be."  "This will fill me up."  "Don't worry.  Enjoy yourself."

"Today, you will be tested on a trio."

"You can fill it any way that you like, and you have 1.5 hours."

"Every little bit counts."

"If you put too much filling in, you won't be able to get it into your mouth.  I might... but most people wouldn't."

"That is going to make it rise nicely."

"Anything that grows goes!"

"We don't want it deflating; we want it nice and stiff."

"It's usually done by rubbing them together.  But Tom is trying something different."

"I'm piping right now, and I'm making sharp kisses."

"... topped by an Italian..."

"I love the ginger, and I don't want to lose any of the juice."

"It's probably as thick as it will get."

"I put my tiny balls on it to hold it down."

"Do you think he's outside your house admiring your grapefruits?"

"My husband and I always do it this way, so it seems like an obvious choice."

"I know who my rival is, and he's right behind me now."

"It's going a bit slow, so I will add some tequila."

"It's not going in as much as I would like."

"I'm waiting for it to go down a little bit."

"If I'm not careful, it could be a goopy mess."

"If it's not robust enough, it won't work.  

"My coconut is a bit bigger than it was at home, and now it got stuck in the nozzle."

"I don't think I whipped it enough, and now it's not stiff enough."

"I prefer it to be brown."

"Mine is so wet."

"Is yours okay?  Mine is awful; I couldn't get it to whip up."

"It came through all the way.  You did a great job at topping."

"It's a difficult flavor."

"It's falling down.  I want more height.  It's too soft.  Good luck with that, Mary."

"You did it perfectly: very sweet on top."

"It's quite attractive, and I'm fascinated to see how it will be."

"It came out too big.  But if I close my eyes, the actual cream is very good-tasting."

"There are some messy bushes that need trimming."

"I've eaten it many times, so I know what it should look like."

"Just use your fingers and stretch it out."

"It smells, so I immediately picked it up."

"I'm not sure if it's supposed to be very wet or not."

"I like it when it gets red.  It makes me happy."

"I'm erring towards having one on top of the other."

"It's probably tripled in size by now!"

"It's sticky."

"You have 3o minutes until we have to see yours on the table."

"It really puffed up, so maybe I should stretch it more."

"I'm going to take it out now.  It's better than leaving it in the oven and worrying about it."

"I'm nervous because there's a lot riding on me."

"That's the closest I came to crying.  It was sheer relief."

"In some cases, it can be overpowering... so I will be careful."

"Just shove it all in."

"I immediately started thinking about Jasmine, and I feel really strong."

"We'll start with a chocolate one, and then a sharp carrot.  We'll finish with a fruitcake."

"My cherry is the most important part."

"All three of them will be stacked, and I'll cover them with cream and add some glitter."

"I don't understand why it's so moist inside."

"Timing is crucial.  It usually takes me an hour."

"I'm using both hands, and I don't have enough time."

"Do you like doing this?"  "I hate it, because I don't do it prettily."

"I'm trying to fill all of the holes."

"I'm amazed that you did this four times!"

"The position isn't right.  I wish I had chosen something else."

"You left little blobs all around.  It's a bit of a mess."

"This bottom one is dry."  

"I hate a soggy bottom."

"It's dripping into the crack."

"Try the next bottom; it might be better."

"This has been the hardest that we ever had, and I want to bring Andrew."

"I think that Tom can inch into it."

"I will be the Bad Cop, this week."

"I will miss your face."

     As a bonus, here's a snippet from another enlightening culinary show from overseas: "New Scandinavian Cooking"...

For more uproarious sexual innuendo, please click here: 

https://halfwindsorfullthrottle.blogspot.com/2014/08/sexual-innuendo-overheard-lol.html

London's New Year Parade

     This year, Lewis and I turned on our television and watched the New Year Parade that London hosts annually.  We were fortunate to find the only TV channel that shared the parade in the USA.  It was a public-broadcasting channel.  (Otherwise, you can watch it online).  We felt ebullient to see its levels of diversity and variety.  It was a stark contrast to holiday festivities in New York.  Typical of the American Hollywood system, NYC constricts its performances.  Tree-lighting ceremonies, holiday parades, and New Year's celebrations mostly feature only a few categories: women who wear size 2 or 4 clothes, top-billing Hollywood or TV Network stars, actors from whatever sitcom the NYC-based national TV Networks are promoting, and overpaid "music artists" who can't sing but can only lip sync.  Terribly (and predictably), most events are white-washed, despite NYC being a diverse metropolis.  Year after year, you never see an authentic Hispanic ensemble.  You never see an Asian group.  Even NYC's Lunar New Year festivities in Chinatown are excluded by the media and merely get a 30-second glimpse on the news.  You never see amateur talent.  They do not get the spotlight.  Thus, most of the shows lack "heart".

     Consequently, we were thrilled with the line-up in London.  This year was expected to involve 10,000 participants!  Understandably, the parade did not occur due to pandemic precaution procedures.  Some of the participants urged the British network to host a series of studio-made performances.  Unable to travel, American marching bands submitted videotaped performances, too.  Here is a sampling of the diversity (I added pictures from the previous year):

- Carnaval del Pueblo dance troupe, with flag-bearers of various nations--including a LGBT Pride flag.

- A London-based Korean vocal group of young K-Pop women named KAACHI.  The word means Value and Together.

- Members of Extreme Bike Battle doing stunts.

- A gymnastic Chinese lion dance with percussionists.  

- The Kimbanguist Brass Band: an African group in London.

- Tap-dancers from the USA.

- Jaime Cullum: a modest yet vivacious English jazz crooner who was admittedly not a Hollywood persona (that fits nicely with this blog post).  Interestingly, his Jewish father escaped Nazi-Germany, and his Burmese mother relocated to Wales.  His yuletide song was performed with singers and a lively band.

- Sophie Ellis-Bextor: a double-platinum selling Londoner with a modest opinion of her physicality and a pro-EU attitude.

- Steel drum percussionists from Urban Fox Orchestra Steelband, consisting of a diverse group of players of all ages. 

- Panash Steel Orchestra UK featured steelpan players of utmost skill who were not only Indian but included many nationalities.

- Kinetika Bloco had spicy brass and woodwind musicians that gave upbeat Caribbean music for their dancers to move to.

- Drummers from the London School of Dhol who learned rhythms from Pakistan, India, Nepal, and Bangladesh.  

- Dancers from the London School of Samba.

- Dancers from the Salsa Soark in London.

- Molly Hocking: an English winner of televised talent shows.

- Harleymoon Kemp: the UK's newest country music singer.

- Boogie Storm: a sensational dancing group that blended a medley of pop music.

     Lastly, because the BBC is commercial-free, we savored the 1.5 hour celebration without an extra hour of interruptive advertisements (which American networks usually insert--while eliminating footage of the actual celebrations).  

*Click on this link to learn more about the affordable BBC...

https://halfwindsorfullthrottle.blogspot.com/2019/05/affordable-bbc-or-expensive-american-tv.html

*To read about our visit to England, please click this link:

https://halfwindsorfullthrottle.blogspot.com/2021/10/our-trip-to-london-uk-part-1-which.html

     For us, watching London's parade was a wholesome and encouraging way to kick-off the year.  We needed it... since this short video (below) shows what happened in NYC on New Year's Eve!  It is typical, disturbing, and emblematic of NYC's incorrigible governance.  

     Such fearless vandalism did not occur in a ghetto; the attack occurred on NYC's richest street: Fifth Avenue.  It happened in daylight in a pricey part of Flatiron neighborhood.  Such terrible things do not occur in other first-world cities.  The police of those cities wouldn't let it happen.  Yet in this place, each year commences with problems unchanged from the prior years. 

To see reasons to avoid NYC for Christmas, please click this link:  

https://halfwindsorfullthrottle.blogspot.com/2018/11/how-to-spend-christmas.html

 

To see New Year festivities around the world, please click this link:

https://halfwindsorfullthrottle.blogspot.com/2020/01/new-years-around-world.html

     As we look to the United Kingdom for our next stage in life, Lewis and I were grateful to see positive things.