Shameful Police Gossip

Overheard from New York City policemen and those entering fire/police academies:

“We can’t!  If we arrested all the people we find with suspended licenses…”  (Where is the rationale in that statement?  Also, realize that a Long Island man killed someone, this year, while driving recklessly with a license that had been suspended over a dozen times!)

“You throw them in jail, and they’re out again anyway.”  (Why is such a broken system condoned?  The Evening News usually features criminals with long “rap sheets” of prior arrests).

“A cop used to smack around the people we brought it under arrest.  When he did it to one of mine, I went to the Desk Sergeant and said ‘That’s his prisoner now.  He can deal with them after this’.”  (So, nobody stopped that behavior?)

“A teenage girl complained about a flasher in the park.  After her first sentence, we already knew who it was and where he lived.”  (Why is that allowed to continue?  His address should’ve been a prison).

“During the holiday, we got paid overtime to basically sit around and eat.”  (Nobody feels sorry for you—or the other obese tax-paid officers).

“I want to be a fireman for the six-figure paycheck and so I can spend most days chilling at the firehouse.”  (Shouldn’t people desire that job to save lives?)

“My buddy wanted to be an MTA Transit Cop because you never see them; they never do anything.”  (No wonder NYC’s subways are full of vagrants, illegal panhandlers, nighttime thieves, and turnstile jumpers).

“My son wants to be a cop, but on Long Island because they get paid even more than we do here in the city, and they’ve got much less to deal with.”  (That partially explains why LI taxes are so outrageous).

“I told my kid to also be a cop because you get paid tons of overtime, it enlarges your pension, you can retire after 20 years with lifelong income, and then you can get a nice-paying job in upscale private security or executive protection.”  (It's no surprise that so much of our paychecks go to taxes that don’t produce results).

“When you get in, just keep your head down, don’t ask questions, follow your orders, flatter your captain’s wife, and stay out of other people’s business.”  (Why are you sworn to be an officer of the law?)

“In all my years being on the force, the same problems never go away: gangs, drugs, guns, violent neighborhoods, rich people being unpunished, and political corruption among the Top Brass.”  (How could that happen with an ever-growing highly-paid police force—one of the largest in the world?  Who are you hiring?) 

“A couple of cop buddies and I went to the Fourth of July party at the firehouse.  Everybody and their brother was drunk off their a$$es.  There was so much food!  Barbecue, beer, booze, you name it.  We had a great time, and then everybody drove home.”  (Apparently, it is permissible for those “privileged people” to dangerously drink-and-drive, while regular citizens are impounded during the holidays, for the same crime.  It reminds me of working many summers and holiday-seasons at the Long Island catering hall.  Firehouses, police departments, the Democratic party, the Republican Party, the Nassau County Bar Association, and the County Executive’s office hosted parties there—and everybody always got drunk and drove home.  Yet, Long Island has the nation’s strictest and most expensive penalties for DWUI and DWI... for "regular people"). 

“At Police Headquarters, downtown, all the Top Brass would grill each precinct about how it intended to meet its quotas.  Yet, if you clean up too much dirt, they transfer you, pigeonhole you, or internally harass you because you’re doing too good of a job.  You make enemies if you bust up too much crime.”  (Why don’t the good people come together and report such activity?)

“Having crime ensures a big annual budget—and maybe a few increases.”  (Where are your priorities?)

“A pizzeria by the station was paid $10,000 per month to give unlimited pizzas to the cops.”  (That’s 16 pies every day at $20 each). 

     All of that reminds me of ancient Rome’s Praetorian Guards who were bribed to ignore the corruption of the imperial government.  Thanks for your service.