With her car's air-conditioning blasting with the highest fan speed, Yvonne drove us south to Miami. It is one of America's most-famous oceanside cities. Yet, it has a humid "tropical monsoon climate" and a lot of heat. We craved a Cubano sandwich, and Miami is famous for them, as Boston is famous for lobster rolls. Exhaustive online research led us to an eatery claiming to serve the most authentic Cubano!
Seen above, the restaurant is centered in a neighborhood named Little Havana, in honor of the capital of the island-nation of Cuba. The district was formed in the 1960s, but it endures noise pollution because it is located next to the Miami International Airport. It is the most famous Cuban émigré exile community in the world. Yvonne wanted to drive us directly to the restaurant, but Lewis and I wanted to see the diverse cultural neighborhood.
Instead of a Latin American name, the restaurant is named Versailles.
Alas, its interior looked outdated from the 1970s and resembled places in New York that make plenty of profits but resist reinvesting money in their infrastructure.
It was also evident in the plating of the food. Some recipes were very good, but others looked "blah".
Seen above, nearly all of the salt-and-pepper shakers were dented. We don't like that because it usually implies that they fell to the ground (and probably weren't cleaned afterwards). Many were still greasy from the prior eater's hands. A restaurant can be simple and humble, but it should be clean. Yet, most Americans don't care about those things... nor do their care about their diets.
Customary from the Cuban culture, the coffee drinks were strong and bitter. I drank mine "black", but they are often loaded with sugared milk and additional sweet syrup.
The desserts were overloaded with bleached sugar, canned condensed milk (made with low-quality dairy and high fructose corn syrup), and evaporated milk that was sweetened further.
We noticed a varied clientele on that Sunday morning: Asian, Latino, Black, tourist, and local. At the next table was a Dutch couple who had just checked out of the Ritz Carlton Hotel and wanted a meal from the island of Cuba.
Lewis ordered a coffee con leche: very sweet and strong, with the coffee poured into the cup of steamed milk.
Seen above for $12.00 each, our sandwiches were very different from the ones featured in the 2014 movie, Chef. In fact, they didn't resemble a real Cubano. This is a real one...
The recipe originated with Cuban laborers living in Florida. It involves a ham (preferably Black Forest ham because of the seasoning), roast pork (preferably pernil which is roasted shoulder), and Swiss cheese on a "Cuban baguette" that is slathered with mustard and layered with sliced pickles. Pickles contribute a brininess that complements the meat. (Any deli owner will agree). The important part is that the sandwich goes into a panini-press to be compressed; the result usually toasts the exterior of the bread. Look at both images again. Does it look like our sandwich was put in a panini-press? Nope.
Regrettably, the restaurant gave us a slap-dash version that wasn't pressed properly and had a meager amount of filling. Furthermore, they used a sweet ham, instead of a smoked or seasoned one. It reminded us of typical American scams: places with the most advertising have above-average prices but undoubtably serve low-quality crap. It reminded us of the phony "dueling" Philly Cheesesteak sandwich shops in Philadelphia and Sparro's Pizzeria in New York City.
We also ordered 3 flavorful empanadas and 2 crispy-skinned sausages from the griddle. After driving 30 miles to get to "the world's most famous Cuban restaurant", the presentation was underwhelming.
Instead of pride in Cuban heritage for authenticity, the restaurant's focus was purely intent on making money quickly with the cheapest methods. Gratefully, our waiter had the most gracious persona and such a sincere smile. He didn't seem to know that better environments exist.
It seems like the restaurant took over a neighboring building, and they adjoined the two. One half now has the restaurant, while the other has a cigar shop (with hand-rolling in front of the customer) & a savory/sweet cafe (seen below).
Yvonne drove us past the "local scenery": cruise ships at their docks, more mansions clustered on private islands, and more hi-rise buildings being built everywhere. Miami Beach is actually an island-city (a barrier beach protecting Biscayne Bay).
Crossing the Biscane Bay, Yvonne toured us through South Beach, where a majority of the oceanfront buildings are still original from the Art Deco period of the 1920s & 30s.
Instead of pride in Cuban heritage for authenticity, the restaurant's focus was purely intent on making money quickly with the cheapest methods. Gratefully, our waiter had the most gracious persona and such a sincere smile. He didn't seem to know that better environments exist.
It seems like the restaurant took over a neighboring building, and they adjoined the two. One half now has the restaurant, while the other has a cigar shop (with hand-rolling in front of the customer) & a savory/sweet cafe (seen below).
If you want to see where Lewis and I ate the best Cubano, please use this link...
*Earlier, I mentioned Boston. If you want to see our trip to Boston, please use this link...
Yvonne drove us past the "local scenery": cruise ships at their docks, more mansions clustered on private islands, and more hi-rise buildings being built everywhere. Miami Beach is actually an island-city (a barrier beach protecting Biscayne Bay).
Crossing the Biscane Bay, Yvonne toured us through South Beach, where a majority of the oceanfront buildings are still original from the Art Deco period of the 1920s & 30s.
It's internationally famous for celebrity-chefs and glamorous lifestyles. It's a gauche version of L.A. and Las Vegas.
Collins Avenue and Ocean Drive are streets known for luxury seaside hotels, boozy beachfront bars, risqué gay bars, nightlife, and a shopping district.
Instead of the antique cars, above (also reminiscent of Cuba), Lewis was fond of the LVMH-logoed "recreational vehicle", below. So cute!
There are lots of bars along the beachside strip: many have greeters trying to "hook" passersby with their "affordable" (watered down) drink menus. Row by row, they try to blast music louder than their neighbors. Like I've been saying, unfortunately, the gay bars were easily identifiable because of their sidewalk transvestite strip shows.
We ordered cocktails and oysters and savored the cool ambiance. Soon, a jazz duo started playing/singing music. That was a pleasant surprise.
Instead of the antique cars, above (also reminiscent of Cuba), Lewis was fond of the LVMH-logoed "recreational vehicle", below. So cute!
There are lots of bars along the beachside strip: many have greeters trying to "hook" passersby with their "affordable" (watered down) drink menus. Row by row, they try to blast music louder than their neighbors. Like I've been saying, unfortunately, the gay bars were easily identifiable because of their sidewalk transvestite strip shows.
So typical, so tacky, so stereotypical... all propagating an unfortunate image. Why can't a "homosexual-friendly eatery" exist without sex? It enforces a nationwide stereotype of gay men as hedonistic.
The heterosexual eateries were equally loud but more mundane: overweight people overstuffing themselves with innutritious food.
Towards the tip of Ocean Drive is the Betsy Hotel. Before our trip, one of Lewis' friends recommended it for excellent (and strong) cocktails.
Famously, it was a favorite hangout for Ernest Hemingway, and it still has that era's vibe. We were thrilled to be indoors amidst air-conditioning and away from the hot sidewalk cafes.
We ordered cocktails and oysters and savored the cool ambiance. Soon, a jazz duo started playing/singing music. That was a pleasant surprise.
We also learned that Miami was NOT named after the Miami Native American tribe (which was forcibly displaced from Indiana). It's named after the city's Miami River, which is named in honor of the Mayaimi tribes who originally lived there (until British-Americans massacred them in the 1710s and expelled them to Cuba).
Next, Yvonne toured us through the local art district: Wynwood. Lots of amazing "street art"!
*To see the district of Street Art in our neighborhood of Astoria, please use this link:
*To see the district of Street Art in our neighborhood of Astoria, please use this link:
Yvonne drove us up the peninsula again, and we arrived back in Ft. Lauderdale by evening and freshened up for dinner at a vegan restaurant called Sublime. Our waiter was so polite and thorough with the menu.
We tried the faux calamari and Mac 'n (nut) Cheese. For dinner, the Lasagna was amazing...
The presentation/flavor of the Portobello fillet with Espagnole sauce was awesome.
For dessert, the mighty tall carrot cake was a perfect choice!
The next morning, Yvonne toured us through a local wildlife preserve. We saw a snake, lizards, butterflies and shirtless young men with their doggies.
We rehydrated at The Alchemist again: fresh coconut water!
Before our flight home, we enjoyed Yvonne's pool, and she shared a bottle of her "day drinking" wine.
We tried the faux calamari and Mac 'n (nut) Cheese. For dinner, the Lasagna was amazing...
The presentation/flavor of the Portobello fillet with Espagnole sauce was awesome.
For dessert, the mighty tall carrot cake was a perfect choice!
The next morning, Yvonne toured us through a local wildlife preserve. We saw a snake, lizards, butterflies and shirtless young men with their doggies.
We rehydrated at The Alchemist again: fresh coconut water!
Before our flight home, we enjoyed Yvonne's pool, and she shared a bottle of her "day drinking" wine.
An hour was spent blissfully. Next, our trio went for lunch at Temple Street Eatery.
In the typical American way, it offers an amalgamation of Korean, Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese dishes. Despite the adage, "jack of all trades, master at none", they did their best to present authentic dishes from each culture. As you can see, throughout our trip, we discovered ethnic / niche cuisine amidst Florida's Caucasian mundanity.
We returned to Yvonne's home right before an imminent downpour: a regular occurrence in rainy Florida.
We returned to Yvonne's home right before an imminent downpour: a regular occurrence in rainy Florida.
Thankfully, it wasn't a hurricane or tropical cyclone that pummel Florida like typhoons almost every year.
We were grateful that the storm passed quickly.
Yvonne drove us through congested traffic to the airport, and our flight departed on-time.
Lewis and I were happy to return home, just in time to witness another wonderful sunset! A delightful way to "bookend" our vacation.
A month later, Yvonne told us that she decided to move back to NY and live in her father's penthouse in Long Island City! Thus, we had perfect timing for our impromptu visit with her while she was still in Florida! Expect more adventures with our trio in Astoria/NYC.
A month later, Yvonne told us that she decided to move back to NY and live in her father's penthouse in Long Island City! Thus, we had perfect timing for our impromptu visit with her while she was still in Florida! Expect more adventures with our trio in Astoria/NYC.
*To see the type of Walking Tour that I gave her in Astoria, please use this link: https://halfwindsorfullthrottle.blogspot.com/2015/06/walking-tour-streets-food-architecture.html
Oh my goodness it was so fun having you here! i miss you both already and can't wait to me back home. We must both vacate down here there in the future!
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