Lewis' Grandmother Passed

     Midnight approaches, and Lewis' grandmother is being sustained by a hospital machine.  Last week, she left the hospital, due to an infection.  But, she returned today under cardiac arrest.  A bandage (from her dialysis injection) came off, and an artery burst through.  The loss of blood caused her to faint and for her heart to stop.  Thankfully, her maid and medical home attendant were there to summon help.  Lewis rushed to her side.  Tomorrow, his mother returns from a visit to the island-nation of Taiwan.  She will have so much to collide with.  The doctors told Lewis and his gathered relatives that she might not survive and that the paramedics might've caused internal bleeding/damage from their CPR paddles.  
     I'm not sure if a soul stays with its body, after a machine is needed to keep the body going.  If not, then Lewis' family tragically missed their chances to say Goodbye, as the grandmother was unconscious when they got to the hospital.  Still, I pray that things work out as best they can!
     It brings tears to my eyes.  My saddened lover is distraught by these sudden events.  His grandmother was in humorous--even rowdy--spirits, as she left the hospital, last week.  That is always why I say to "cherish every day".
     Lewis was closer to his grandmother than he was to his father, who suddenly passed away last autumn (also after a hospital visit).  His grandma taught him values, being upright, standing up for yourself, thrift, how to be stylish, common sense, and how to feed the imagination.  When a bully took his school supplies, it was his grandma who fiercely took them back.  His grandma took in, and took care of, his "slow" niece.  I'm not sure who will monitor the young woman now.  When Lewis' distantly-cold father neglected to keep the family warm with love, Lewis and his Mom relied on the grandma.  
     Of Taiwanese decent--via evacuating wartime China--the grandmother's official paperwork indicates her age at 104!  She never really gave her age, but Lewis thinks she might've exaggerated to gain admittance to America.  Still, she's not younger than 94 (and sturdily uses a walker to move about).
     Lewis' fondest "family memories" are with her... just as my maternal grandfather provided many for me (far more than either of my parents did, combined).  Always dutiful, Lewis makes nearly-weekly visits to his grandmother's Upper West Side apartment... not far from his.  He calls her "grams".  Sometimes, he escorts her for her weekly dialysis.  They lunched at swank restaurants.  He always happily brings her gifts: clothes, earrings, purses, fragrances, creams, and tokens of love (even if it was to fix her furniture or assist with a pedicure).  If that's not love, then I don't know what is!

     Now, gathered with aunts, uncles, and cousins at the hospital, he wonders what will happen: the sorting of possessions, the change in hierarchy, how he views Life.  I am sad because there are so many things I still want to do with his grandma.  Having a gay grandson can be shocking in some Asian households, yet Lewis' mom and grandma accepted it.  As an only child, Lewis let it be known that they shouldn't expect any grandchildren from him.  They quietly and lovingly accepted such fate.  Lewis' mother has always been sweet to me, even in little things that she sends with him as he comes to my apartment.  She also makes sure that I have leftovers of home-cooked dinners.  And she remembers that I savor the pineapple cakes from her annual visits to Taiwan.  I've always understood an unspoken love in those gestures.
     As I write this, I think about how Lewis' beloved grandma might leave this world, and yet my own wicked parents remain living in their individual homes built from swindling and abusing me.  Maybe that tinge of negativity comes from dreading another good person leaving our circle.  Yet, knowing Life as I do, I always anticipate other good souls making our acquaintance very soon.
     Meanwhile, there are sobs to console, tears to dry, hearts to mend, and support to be given and accepted.  In an unforeseen way, Lewis' grandmother will bring his far-flung family closer together, yet again.

*Update: today, we both stayed home from work, and folks regrouped at the hospital by 10am.  As if a miracle, at 1pm, Lewis' grandmother opened her eyes.  The room was astonished with joy!  She saw Lewis and reached to hold his hand.  They were so happy to see each other!  I cannot describe it.  Then, the elderly woman made a face, rolling her eyes, to say how uncomfortable she felt.  Soon, she was napping.  Lewis remained at her bedside, with his family looking on.  His mother arrived at the airport at 7pm, but NYC's never-fixed traffic jams delayed her reaching the hospital until 10pm.  Lewis' grandmother was awake, and he was talking to her, consoling her.  It was a relief to his mother, who was so thankful to arrive while the situation was stable.  After awhile of interaction, the grandmother fell asleep.  I say that with gratitude because, this morning, doctors notified the family that only the machine was keeping the grandmother alive.  So tragic.  Collectively, the family agreed to "unplug" it and let the elderly woman pass peacefully.  I comforted Lewis, who had mixed emotions.  He agreed that seeing/talking with his grandmother, one last time, had been a gift of closure.  For so many years, his grandmother was an uplifting/guiding force in his life: mission accomplished.  We are never happy to lose someone, but we gain strength knowing that their life was full and that their contributions were strong.  Also, we know that she left this world peacefully with her loved ones surrounding her.  

Considering the tasks ahead, I continue to pray that good things happen and good energy arrives, as solace to Lewis' family tonight.