I know a young man who grew up with a very wealthy re-married father (and a consequently large family). Let's call him J. J's dad was immensely successful in the art of breast augmentation and pro-athlete surgery. His eldest two children became a notable surgeon and a prominent lawyer for their state's supreme court. This young man chose the "path of least resistance". J enjoyed the irresponsible joy of his dad's gifts: new cars at the age when he could drive, an entire living space in the basement of their home, a Bose theatre sound system, dirt bikes, an sporty ATV, a jet ski, and great vacations (especially wherever Marriot's premium customers, like his dad, could be lodged). Dad took care of everything.
J was boastful of the time he outraced a park ranger on his all-terain vehicle, but the ranger tracked him to his home. Despite his son's reckless wrongdoing, J's dad rebuked the ranger, claiming that he couldn't prove anything and that the ranger was beyond his jurisdiction!
As time wore on, and scuff's with law (for trespassing, speeding, disorderly conduct) repeated, the young man found his parents' constraints to be too much. If he wanted to keep receving money, he had to "apply himself". In opposition to that, J decided to hop in his car and leave home. He drove across several state lines, until his car broke down. In that particular metropolitan area, he saw a Help Wanted sign, and decided to apply for the job... which he got.
Fortunately, the hiring manager was fresh out of college and had hired lots of his friends. Thus, J found himself amongst fun-loving coworkers of similar age/taste and amongst a bevy of attractive girls. J hadn't finished college, but he had a knack for learning that business' trade, and he became good at it: salesmanship. After a year, J desired to move up into store management. However, in such a small branch of the company's chain, there weren't any open positions. So, J threatened to quit (and run away again).
His hiring manager contacted the corporate HR Director in NYC, who personally reached out to J and asked him to be patient while she sought opportunities for him. (Isn't that amazing?) As fate would have it, she found a flagship store in Manhattan, whose store director hired J (after only one Skype interview). I worked at that flagship. My department had the vacancy. Even though I was the department's manager, I wasn't included in the hiring process of J. (My store director kissed everyone's ass at corporate, often committing me to things and then letting me sort them out).
Despite being told that the position needed to be filled immediately--J showed his appreciation by declaring that he couldn't start work for another month... because he wanted to take a vacation to explore America. This was granted by the store director, and the Manhattan store simply worked without J for 4 weeks.
During his vacation, J explored cultures, people, cuisine, sightseeing, and he "sowed more wild oats". He casually looked online for an apartment in the boroughs of NYC. Not worried about the details, he simply chose one: a sublet to share with the young woman who leased the apartment. Sight unseen. It was conveniently near a subway that took him to the city. J's room also came furnished with a bed, dresser, desk/chair and closet. Which was great, because he hadn't brought any furniture!
J's dad was still storing all his things at home. Not worried about the possibility of bed bugs in someone's old mattress, he was delighted not to have to buy a bed. Telling his dad that his job had promoted him to NYC made things more cordial. Thus, J's dad continued making the payments/insurance fees on J's car until the lease expired. By then, J didn't need a car in NYC.
He moved into the sublet. His rent contribution was rather expensive, and it required "2 months notice" before leaving, if the deposit was desired back. Sadly for J, the roommate was a lesbian, who allowed her girlfriend to live there, too (using the shared kitchen and living room). According to him, their "drama" was unnerving. It also got on the nerves of the OTHER sublet tenant who lived there, that J hadn't known about. That other tenant soon moved out and was replaced by a young gay man who loved going to the gym, drinking, and cramming for college exams. The two men "hit it off" and had similar tales of "conquest" to swap.
J progressed nicely at work, under my direct supervision. He called me the "f-cking BEST manager he's ever had". However, the Store Director favored another handsome, well-spoken coworker, who worked alongside J. When a promotion opened up at the NYC store, both young men applied. It was given to the well-spoken guy. Ergo, J became restless.
He also hadn't bothered yet to explore his surroundings. He hadn't met any girls… because he usually lounged at home. One consolation from J's work team were tales about an ex-coworker who had been lucky in "love" (lust?) while working in our department. They told J how customers had approached her--right in the store, for dinner dates, one-night-stand propositions, and weekend getaways. She had dated a couple of those men, for short periods of time. J declared that "Yeah", he wanted some of that kind of action!
And so his wish became a reality. To his coworkers' gossipy delight, the young man started getting "asked out" by cosmopolitan young women who came into the store. J soon began bragging about how he was sleeping with the counter girl at the café, across the avenue, and he'd bring male coworkers to the café to show her off. To his coworkers' surprise, J also made the lucky acquaintance of an eccentric rich old male client, who gave him large cash tips for his help, and who bought him a Brooks Brothers suit, cleared up minor legal matters for him (at no charge), and who took him for expensive luncheons from time to time. (All after offering to have his own private physician give the young man a check-up). Platonic?
Despite the uptick in social life, J wasn't happy with the lack of privacy at home, nor was he thrilled with the constant "drama" between the lesbians. That went on for months. Not to worry, his male roommate was the one who took initiative and began hunting for a new apartment--for both of them to share. How considerate of him. The experience of NYC apartment hunting (online and with scheming realtors) gave J a headache, but his roommate did most of the work. When possible, I nicely rescheduled J's days off "to view apartments". I even gave the # of the realtor I had used. Eventually, the roommate found a 2-bedroom apt in a much nicer neighborhood (mine), with a quicker walk to a cleaner subway.
As luck would have it, the roomie's parents in Albany drove down to give their son use of their van (to save on moving expenses). The van came in handy when J needed to borrow it to bring home furniture and a bed, which he now needed to buy. J was also able to coerce his roomie to help him move it. As a reward for "moving up in the world" and "taking charge of things", his dad sent him a new iPad and $800.
Upon moving in, J discovered that the neighbor downstairs had a ground-floor studio space where she held Zumba dance/exercise classes. She invited the young men to join the other women anytime... or to come by after the weekend classes, when they had homemade sangria and light pot-luck lunches. The second neighbor to introduce herself was the Asian girl who lived above them. She knocked on their door to say that she could delightfully hear J singing in the shower and had seen him coming back (shirtless) from a run with his roommate. She wanted to introduce herself. In fact, J met quite a few young women in the area when he was out running... and because the roommate was gay, the girls were all for him!
Eventually, the roommate got lonely and was staying at home often. J complained to his coworkers about this, because he only wanted him around when he wanted him around. And at the moment, J was focused mostly on meeting girls. One night, the two topless guys were having cigarettes outside their building. A young man, quite drunk, tried to access their building with a key that didn't work. Oops, the guy said, he was at the wrong building: he lived in the next building. (Perhaps, it was a ploy to meet the two handsome men?) It pleased J to find out that the drunk guy was gay... and thought J's roommate was cute. Perfect timing to rid J of his homebody roomie! And it had come right to their doorstep. Literally. The stranger drunkenly invited them both over for dinner on Saturday night, which was a multi-course home-cooked meal! The two gay guys got along great.
Aside from his sexual conquest maneuvers, J told his coworkers that he also desired a steady rapport with the kind of woman who would coddle him. Despite a multiplicity of suggestions, he was lackadaisical and unmotivated about exploring Manhattan's night life. Don't worry. By coincidence, his roommate (who often took him out drinking or to play pool), took him to a local bar. Lo and behold, sitting at a table behind J was an older attractive single woman. J flirted with her and soon began dating her. She was an accomplished phycologist, with her own practice on the Upper East Side. She lived alone, a few blocks from J! She was ebullient to have "arm candy" for social events, and she was more than happy to cook for J (she'd even drop off lunches at his job), give him free advice on "family issues" and "roommate issues", and sleep with him. She was very clear that she did not expect a long-term relationship, and she generously told J that he could "break it off" if he ever found a more suitable partner for intimacy (!!!) ... which he did.
Soon after that, during another patch of lonely despondency, J got news that cheered him up. His dad invited him to return homeward for a summer holiday at the family "cottage" near the lake. I granted him the time off, and J set out to get "wasted, laid and happy". Call it fate, but as J stepped off the plane, back at home, his grandmother greeted him with startling news! J's grandmother had been chatting with another woman (who was waiting for her daughter), and the two ladies thought that J should meet the woman's daughter. To J's surprise and delight, the "daughter' was attractive and her her mid-20s. She lived in New York. But not just anywhere in New York. She lived in the same borough. But not just anywhere in the borough. She lived a few blocks from him! So, across the country, J was hand-delivered into the arms of a beautiful single girl who lived close to him, back in NY. He hadn't even had to alter his routine to find those females. Later, J explained that he didn't spend much time with her on that trip, because there were other available options--and J let her wait because he intended to see her often back in NYC.
When he tired of that relationship, J complained to his roommate and coworkers again. Sure, he was "messing around" with people, but he missed that "coddled" feeling. One afternoon, a female customer approached J... and after their interaction, he asked her to buy him coffee, as a "thank you". She agreed. They began dating. She picked him up after work, and she'd call and have lunches delivered to his store for him. She took J on romantic picnics in the park (nearby where his previous female coworker had "gotten lucky" also with a customer in that park!) She took them both to get "tested" before they had sex. She expected a long-term relationship. When J's coworkers asked him about his intentions, J replied, "Hey, that's not MY problem. These women want to fall in love with me."
By now, a year had passed, and not having been promoted (nor did he make his sales goals), J grew impatient and complained to HR. Again. When nothing happened, J went with another coworker to a Career Fair at the Javits Convention Center. According to that coworker, J stopped his search and stood with the first company representative that started talking with him. J took a job with them. While J lingered with his coworker (who was still looking for a job), another company representative approached. That rep offered J a job in Chicago, but J declined. The next day, J simply didn't show up at his current job. The day after that, he came to work and told me that he was resigning... with only one week's notice. Reminding J of all the time off I had granted him, the help and advice I had given him, and the money that I had helped him earn, I requested a proper 2 week notice. J agreed, but "called out" 3 days during that time (spending the unpaid days with the new girlfriend).
J's new job was at a mall, out in Nassau County, Long Island... a two-hour train commute (each way). It was an Assistant Manager position. Not concerned with mall hours, holiday hours, the expectations, the age group of the team he would manage… J was only eager to start working at the higher salary. It was like consequences of decisions didn't affect him. However, J didn't look forward to the TWO HOUR subway & LIRR train commute… each way! J's new manager blithely told him that it was "probably only a 20 min drive from the young man's apartment to the mall". Even on Google Maps, you can see its more like an hour by car. But J didn't have a car. He called his dad.
Dad's second wife had three sons. The oldest was soon going to Harvard and wouldn't be using his new car. The family would fly J home, and J could drive the new car back to NYC. How lovely. In the meantime, J's new manager agreed to drive him back and forth to work (the guy lived in Forest Hills, a 20-min drive to J's apartment)... for at least two weeks' time. How fortunate!
With affection, J's old coworkers forewarned him about parking a car in the city's boroughs, and about driving on Long Island's expressways and highways (the "unique to the area" road rage, never-ending road construction, rush hours, frequent traffic delays, rubbernecking, and speeding traps). As they parted ways, J assured them that he had nothing to worry about, because "some people have all the luck"! A coworker acutely described J, "He's the kind of guy who, if a lottery ticket was floating above his head, would say 'Nah, its not the winning one, because I'd have to extend myself to reach it. If it were the winning ticket, it'd fall right into my hand'."
Needless to say, after a month of the "honeymoon phase" at his new job, J grew dissatisfied. So, he called up that other job offer, which involved a relocation to Chicago. Undaunted, J took the company's offer to be flown to Chicago for interviews. J took the job, and requested--at his father's advice--that the company help him pay for moving and travel expenses. They agreed! As it turned out, J had a cousin in Chicago, who took it upon himself to do apartment hunting for J, "skyping" pictures/videos of each to him. J took an apartment that just happened to be close to the subway that dropped him off at his new office building.
What happened to the girlfriend? Well, as fate would have it, that trio of J/girlfriend/gay roommate all congenially decided to have the girlfriend move into J's old room with his gay roommate (safe bet, since he's gay). And J's girlfriend astonished J's friends by declaring that she was so madly in love with him, that she wanted to maintain a "long-distance" relationship--making flights to Chicago whenever possible. Trusting girl, huh? In fact, she'd even help J drive the U-haul truck from NY to Chicago! With that, J said goodbye to his mall job and left his ex-roomie and his girlfriend to get along without him, and began his adventure in yet another state.
And so, for those who don't think that good things can happen in unexpected ways, I hope this tale of merely one person's experiences brings you hope! You can ask Fate, Luck and Fortune to smile upon you, too!
