My friend philosophically asked if I was impressed with the resources available nowadays to help gay guys "come out of the closet"? I replied, "Yes, and soon the term of 'closet' will be outdated--just like 'gay wedding'--because people will just be who they are. We don't say 'female doctor' anymore, either."
There are great things about being gay. You're more likely to be comfortable sharing your feelings. You're not embarrassed to sing at piano bars. You're not afraid to look good. You may have a "product/fragrance" display worthy of Bloomingdales. You're likely to have turned sunbathing into a performance art. Your sexual persuasion has its own flag!
I think I was born in one of the last American generations that looked upon homosexuality as a "terrible behavior". Being raised amongst the self-absorbed culture of Long Island suburbia (where the city seemed as far away as Peru),
it was the appearance of "Pleasantville" more than anything else. There were no gay groups anywhere during my formidable years: nothing at school, a guidance counselor not equipped to handle questions, and only a reverend pastor who told me that he loved God's children, but "officially, he could not help me." In college, there was only one gay-friendly organization: a small assembly of Spectrum that sponsored two events per year. Aspiring members sought them out, rather than they building awareness to recruit members.
My own family cut me off, after I "came out" to them (but I was able to leave with whatever I had receipts for). I wish that I had some resources during that tragic time.
One of my first bosses in retail was gay with a life partner, but he kept it closeted at work. With his partner, he was still against Public Displays of Affection (PDAs),
... and needed Catholic Confession before kissing.
Growing up, the only "known" gay bars on Long Island weren't even on the island; they were accessible by ferry to Fire Island.
It was practically like "cloak and dagger" espionage to meet guys in the era before the proliferation of cell phones, Facebook and apps like Grindr or Jackd. I really didn't date anyone until I moved to the city, post-college. By then--after decades of social development--society had made progress. We see bright results of all the sweat, blood, tears, donations and efforts... and the results are all around us.
It became a marketing boon to be gay-friendly.
Equality is accessible nowadays for many more people!
And "coming out of the closet" is now celebrated.
Modern education about "what it means to be homosexual" dispels fears that there's something wrong with you. Technology (especially a cellphone with internet) has made it immeasurably easier to learn (about safety, techniques, meeting places, precautions) and to meet people.
Aside from learning instantly via online literature, blogs, videos, and pornography, there are also interactive / virtual "games".
Splashed across the media, famous homosexuals tout their marriages, adoptions, and partnerships. Like Neil Patrick Harris. Like Marc Jacobs (pictured below with his gay porn-star boyfriend, Harry Louis).
I've included this large assortment of pictures to illustrate how much work has begun, and how it impacts lives on varied levels. Take a moment to look at each one, understanding what has taken place to modern society.
Growing up, homosexual couples were afraid to be seen in public. While I still know a few older men who refrain from "being on dates" in "straight" eateries, most everyone is comfortable be "out and proud".
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In stark comparison, currently almost every TV show incorporates at least one gay character (sadly, many of them are stereotypical, but at least they're there). Schools and universities now have gay support groups that welcome gay students and make them feel that they belong. Schools now celebrate the fact that they have gay couples at prom!
Its a "selling point" on campuses to have Gay Awareness. Companies proudly indicate that they don't discriminate job candidates based on sexual orientation.
You don't have to read about homosexuality in libraries (via outdated books) to understand yourself; you can do research online, subscribe to magazines/blogs, call gay help hotlines and visit gay community centers/clinics.
Movies like "Milk", TV shows like "Modern Family", "Glee",
"Queer as Folk", "True Blood", "Devious Maids", "Noah's Arc" or "1 Girl, 5 Gays", and musicals like "Priscilla Queen of the Desert" and "Kinky Boots" cheerlead the accomplishments / individuality of homosexual individuals and encourage them to be who they are.
History is now explained to highlight the great gay people who shaped it: Alexander the Great, Tchaikovsky, "The Mattachine Society", Emperor Hadrian, and Grand dukes of Russia. (I have another blog post that lists even more).
The Sex Museum on Fifth Avenue and the Chicago History Museum celebrate homosexuality and the development of gay communities in their respective cities. Look up "gentrification" in Wikipedia to see its sideline about how gay communities contribute.
Gay-friendly vacation destinations, gay cruises, "gay weekend" at Disneyland, and foreign hotels flaunt the fact that they are "same-sex themed". A Pride flag is the sign of a well-rounded community.
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There are vivacious Pride parades (forces are still working on the Catholic-backed St. Patrick's one).
There are prominent resources via various media:
Essentially, as a modern gay youth grows up, they are welcomed into society, made to feel special, given some role models, encouraged to shine as a true personality (you can only show your true colors when you come out of your shell) and find a safe social/romantic network--especially if they live in (or move to) a city.
Certainly, there are still sneers, stares, bashing, taunting, prejudice, protests, legal propositions, red tape, religious refusal and a large portion of "families that disown", friends that abandon, lovers who are "closeted" and employers that discriminate.
However, a gay individual (notice I don't just call them "a gay") will find it much easier to assimilate, meet people who value them, find support/advice/counseling, learn awareness from health facilities, and socialize in "gay-friendly" coffee shops, bars, beaches, vacation spots and restaurants (sometimes under the watchful protection of groups like Hells' Angels).
Yes, I would agree that we have experienced major improvements. Our future is now open to potential partnerships, a varied career path, marriage, raising children, mentoring and sharing assets... and in some cases, being re-introduced to family members. May the good work continue!
I think I was born in one of the last American generations that looked upon homosexuality as a "terrible behavior". Being raised amongst the self-absorbed culture of Long Island suburbia (where the city seemed as far away as Peru),
it was the appearance of "Pleasantville" more than anything else. There were no gay groups anywhere during my formidable years: nothing at school, a guidance counselor not equipped to handle questions, and only a reverend pastor who told me that he loved God's children, but "officially, he could not help me." In college, there was only one gay-friendly organization: a small assembly of Spectrum that sponsored two events per year. Aspiring members sought them out, rather than they building awareness to recruit members.
My own family cut me off, after I "came out" to them (but I was able to leave with whatever I had receipts for). I wish that I had some resources during that tragic time.
One of my first bosses in retail was gay with a life partner, but he kept it closeted at work. With his partner, he was still against Public Displays of Affection (PDAs),
... and needed Catholic Confession before kissing.
Growing up, the only "known" gay bars on Long Island weren't even on the island; they were accessible by ferry to Fire Island.
Click here to read more about it:
Equality is accessible nowadays for many more people!
And "coming out of the closet" is now celebrated.
Aside from learning instantly via online literature, blogs, videos, and pornography, there are also interactive / virtual "games".
Splashed across the media, famous homosexuals tout their marriages, adoptions, and partnerships. Like Neil Patrick Harris. Like Marc Jacobs (pictured below with his gay porn-star boyfriend, Harry Louis).
I've included this large assortment of pictures to illustrate how much work has begun, and how it impacts lives on varied levels. Take a moment to look at each one, understanding what has taken place to modern society.
Growing up, homosexual couples were afraid to be seen in public. While I still know a few older men who refrain from "being on dates" in "straight" eateries, most everyone is comfortable be "out and proud".
.jpg)
In stark comparison, currently almost every TV show incorporates at least one gay character (sadly, many of them are stereotypical, but at least they're there). Schools and universities now have gay support groups that welcome gay students and make them feel that they belong. Schools now celebrate the fact that they have gay couples at prom!
You don't have to read about homosexuality in libraries (via outdated books) to understand yourself; you can do research online, subscribe to magazines/blogs, call gay help hotlines and visit gay community centers/clinics.
Movies like "Milk", TV shows like "Modern Family", "Glee",
"Queer as Folk", "True Blood", "Devious Maids", "Noah's Arc" or "1 Girl, 5 Gays", and musicals like "Priscilla Queen of the Desert" and "Kinky Boots" cheerlead the accomplishments / individuality of homosexual individuals and encourage them to be who they are.
History is now explained to highlight the great gay people who shaped it: Alexander the Great, Tchaikovsky, "The Mattachine Society", Emperor Hadrian, and Grand dukes of Russia. (I have another blog post that lists even more).
Gay-friendly vacation destinations, gay cruises, "gay weekend" at Disneyland, and foreign hotels flaunt the fact that they are "same-sex themed". A Pride flag is the sign of a well-rounded community.
There are prominent resources via various media:
Essentially, as a modern gay youth grows up, they are welcomed into society, made to feel special, given some role models, encouraged to shine as a true personality (you can only show your true colors when you come out of your shell) and find a safe social/romantic network--especially if they live in (or move to) a city.
Certainly, there are still sneers, stares, bashing, taunting, prejudice, protests, legal propositions, red tape, religious refusal and a large portion of "families that disown", friends that abandon, lovers who are "closeted" and employers that discriminate.
However, a gay individual (notice I don't just call them "a gay") will find it much easier to assimilate, meet people who value them, find support/advice/counseling, learn awareness from health facilities, and socialize in "gay-friendly" coffee shops, bars, beaches, vacation spots and restaurants (sometimes under the watchful protection of groups like Hells' Angels).
Yes, I would agree that we have experienced major improvements. Our future is now open to potential partnerships, a varied career path, marriage, raising children, mentoring and sharing assets... and in some cases, being re-introduced to family members. May the good work continue!
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