Great Quotes from Movies (Films) and TV

Louise: What interesting china!  Why, it looks like young men playing leap-frog.  Is it Greek?

Advisor: People want leadership.  In the absence of genuine leadership, they will listen to anyone who steps up to the microphone.  They're so thirsty for it, they'll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there's no water, they'll drink the sand!

President Sheperd: We've had Presidents who were beloved, who couldn't find a coherent sentence with two hands and a flashlight. People don't drink the sand because they're thirsty, Lewis. They drink it because they don't know the difference. 

Carmen Sternwood: You're not very tall are you?
Private Investigator Philip Marlowe: Well, I, uh... I try to be.

Eddie Mars: Is that any of your business?
Philip Marlowe: I could make it my business.
Eddie Mars: I could make your business mine.

Philip Marlowe: Oh, you wouldn't like it.  The pay's too small.

Vivian: You go too far, Marlowe.
Marlowe: Those are harsh words to throw at a man, especially when he's walking out of your bedroom.

Philip Marlowe: I don't mind if you don't like my manners.  I don't like them myself.  They're pretty bad.  I grieve over them on long winter evenings.

Philip Marlowe: My, my, my.  Such a lot of guns around town, and so few brains!

Rick Blaine: How can you close me down?  On what grounds?
Capt. Renault: I'm shocked ... shocked to find that gambling is going on in here.
Croupier: Your winnings, sir.
Capt. Renault: Oh, thank you ... very much. Everybody out at once!

Capt. Renault: Major Strasser has been shot.  Round up the usual suspects.

Rick Blaine: Here's looking at you, kid.

Rick Blaine: I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Capt. Renault: What on Earth brought you to Casablanca?
Rick Blaine: My health; I came to Casablanca for the waters.
Capt. Renault: The waters?  What waters?  We're in the desert!
Rick Blaine: I was misinformed.

Ugarte: You despise me, don't you?
Rick Blaine: If I gave you any thought, I probably would.

Yvonne: Where were you last night?
Rick: That's so long ago, I don't remember.
Yvonne: Will I see you tonight?
Rick: I never make plans that far ahead. 

Mitch: This guy is not normal.  I'm telling you.  Did you see his eyes?  He's got crazy eyes.  He's a lunatic.  I'm telling you, we are goin’ into the wilderness, being lead by a lunatic.  Why are you looking at me like that?  He's behind me, isn't he? 

Mrs. White: Are you a cop?
Mr. Green: No, I'm a plant.
Miss Scarlet: A plant? I thought men like you were usually called a fruit.

Colonel Mustard: Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?
Wadsworth: You don't need any help from me, sir.

Mrs. White: He threatened to kill me in public.
Miss Scarlet: Why would he want to kill you in public?
Wadsworth: I think she meant, he threatened in public to kill her.
Miss Scarlet: Oh. 

Kathryn: Everybody loves me, and I intend to keep that way.

Hawkins: Okay, I think I've got it!  The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true! Right?
Griselda: Right, but there's been a change.  They broke the chalice from the palace.
Hawkins: They broke the chalice from the palace?!
Griselda: And replaced it with a flagon.
Hawkins: A flagon?
Griselda: With the figure of a dragon.
Hawkins: Flagon with a dragon.  But did you put the pellet with the poison in the vessel with the pestle?
Griselda: No!  The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon!  The vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true!
Hawkins: The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon; the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true.
Griselda: Just remember that.

Robert Jones: Have you no shame?
Morgan: No... I can't think where I've left it.

Joe: I don't think you're fit to handle the defense in this case.
Kaffee: You don't even know me.  Ordinarily it takes someone hours to discover I'm not fit to handle a defense.

Kaffee: Is this your signature?
Dawson: Yes sir.
Kaffee: You don't have to call me sir.  Is this your signature?
Dawson: Sir, yes sir.
Kaffee: And you certainly don't have to do it twice in one sentence. 

Niles: Don't call me irrational! It makes me crazy when you do that.

Frasier: Have you any idea of appropriate baseball-watching attire?
Niles: Obviously, you failed to detect the subtle diamond pattern in my tie.

Robert: Y'know, Gloria, how about I buy us dinner and a lot of martinis?
Gloria: Sounds great, except for the dinner part.

Kermit the Frog: We've got to catch those thieves red-handed.
Beauregard: What color are their hands now?

Submarine Captain Ramius: Most things in here don't react well with bullets.

The name's Bond, James Bond. 

Lockwood: Cosmo, call me a cab.
Cosmo: Okay, you're a cab.

François: Do you know what kind of a bomb it was?
Inspector Clouseau: The exploding kind.

Felix Ungar: In other words, you're saying you want me to leave?
Oscar Madison: Not in other words! Those are the perfect words!

Oscar: I hate little notes on my pillow.  Like this morning. 'We're all out of cornflakes. F.U.'  It took me three hours to figure out that 'F.U.' was Felix Unger. 

Murray: He took a whole bottle of pills!  My God, get an ambulance!
Oscar Madison: Wait a minute, will ya?!  We don't even know what kind!
Murray: What difference does it make?!  He took a whole bottle!
Oscar Madison: Well, maybe they were vitamins!  He could be the healthiest man in the room!

Oracle: You're more handsome than I thought.  I can see why she likes you.
Neo: Who?
Oracle: Not too bright, though.

Admiral Collingwood: Now, gentlemen, let us do something today, which the world may talk of hereafter. (before the Battle of Trafalgar, 21 October 1805)

General Patton: Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country.  He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.

Walt Disney: Somehow I can't believe that there are any heights that can't be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true.  This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in four C's.  They are Curiosity, Confidence, Courage and Constancy, and the greatest of all is Confidence.  When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionably.

Noel Coward: I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Rosemary: Lunch.

J. Pierpont: Huh?

Rosemary: I said, "lunch".

J. Pierpont: What about "lunch"?

Rosemary: I'd love to!

Max Bialystock: Shut up!  I'm having a rhetorical conversation!

Remington Steele: North by Northwest, Cary Grant, James Mason, MGM, 1959.
Laura Holt: I never saw it.
Remington Steele: Laura, sometimes you're very difficult to talk to.

Dimitri Mishkin: So, by what means shall we execute you, Commander Bond?

James Bond: What, no small talk?  No chit-chat?  That's the trouble with the world today.  No one takes the time to do a really sinister interrogation anymore.  It's a lost art.

Melvin: Sell “crazy” somewhere else. We're all stocked up here!

Buzz Lightyear: I've set my laser from stun to kill.
Woody: Oh, great!  If anyone attacks, we can blink 'em to death!

Kris Kringle: Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to.

Renaldo: I always say you don't know who a man is until you know what his dream is.

Detective Sam Spade: You do sell books, right?

Clerk: What do those look like, grapefruit?

Amber: Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.
Dionne: Well, there goes your social life.

Ewan McGregor: Isn't she the most beautiful woman?  I have a film I'd like to be in her with.  I mean, I'd like to be with her in.

Ollie Dee: So far, so good.

Stanley Dum: It wasn’t far.  We only came across the street.

Walter: Look, I only acted like any husband that didn't want his home broken up.
Meredith: What home?
Walter: "What home"?!  Don't you remember the home I promised you?

Armand: My God, this is like riding a psychotic horse to a burning stable!

David Huxley: Insanity doesn’t run in my family.  It gallops.

Nick Charles: Come on.  Let’s get something to eat: I’m thirsty.

Groucho Marx: And if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, it tastes much more like prunes than rhubarb does.

Mrs. Ritterhouse: Captain, this leaves me speechless.

Captain Spaulding: Well, see that you remain that way.

Stanley Dum: You’d better come up dead or alive!

Ollie Dee: How can he come up dead if he’s alive?!

Stanley Dum: Let’s drop a rock on him and that’ll make him dead while he’s alive.

Ollie Dee: Now you’re talkin’.

David Huxley: Now it isn't that I don't like you, Susan, because, after all, in moments of quiet, I'm strangely drawn toward you, but—well, there haven't been many moments of quiet.

[In jail] Susan Vance: Anyway, David, when they find out who we are, they'll let us out.
David Huxley: When they find out who you are, they'll pad the cell.

Katzenback: Now you listen to me, Junior.  Don't you think that I don't know what's going on, because I do know, and now you know that I know.
Walt Whalen: Listen, I don't know what you know that I know, but I do know that you don't know what you think you know.
Katzenback: Oh no?
Walt Whalen: No… Come along, Penny, apparently this man is an idiot!

Claudette: Nobody comes into my dressing room uninvited!  What do you think that star means?

Roger: You’re Jewish?

Nick Charles: The important thing is the rhythm.  Always have rhythm in your cocktail shaking.  A Manhattan you always shake to fox-trot time, a Bronx to two-step time, and a dry martini you always shake to waltz time.

Jack: I'm not looking forward to jumping in after you.  But like I said, I don't see a choice.  I guess I'm kinda hoping you'll come back over the rail and get me off the hook here.
Rose: You're crazy!
Jack: That's what everybody says, but with all due respect miss, I'm not the one hanging off the back of a ship here.

Lt. Frank Drebin: Have you noticed anything different about him?
Jane Spencer: Well, only that he's a foot taller, and he seems to be left-handed now... Frank, what are you trying to tell me?  That Quentin has somehow found an exact double for Dr. Mainheimer and that tomorrow that double will give a fraudulent report to the president?
Lt. Frank Drebin: Why that's brilliant.  A lot better than what I came up with.

[The three musketeers and D'Artagnan are escaping from the Cardinal's men in his own coach]
Porthos: Champagne?
Athos: We're in the middle of a chase, Porthos.
Porthos: You're right - something red.

Porthos: This sash was a gift to me from the Queen of America.
D'Artagnan: There's no Queen of America!
Porthos: I beg to differ, infant.  We're on quite intimate terms, unless you can prove otherwise.

Mr. Keating: Now in this class, you can either call me Mr. Keating, or if you're slightly more daring—O' Captain, My Captain.

Inspector Lestrade: On the way, I'll tell you all I know.
Sherlock Holmes: We're not going very far then, are we?

Matt Beemish: I'm the court psychiatrist.
Richard Nugent: Come back in an hour. I'll be crazy by then.

Betty: I can't open the door now; I'm in my lingerie!
Roger: All right, I'll wait 'til you take it off.

Ebert Mae Souse: How'd you get in here?
Jerry: Well, the door was closed, so I opened it and came right in.

Miss Graveley: How old do you think I am, young man?
Marlowe: Hmm… fifty.  How old do you think you are?
Miss Graveley: Forty-two!  I can show you my birth certificate.
Marlowe: I'm afraid you're going to have to show more than your birth certificate to convince a man of that.

Elsie Mae Souse: Shall I bounce a rock off his head?
Agatha Souse: Respect your father, darling.  What kind of a rock?

S.B. Bellows: Never mind where I tell you to stand.  You stand where I tell you!

Alfred Poelzig: The phone is dead.  Did you hear that?  Even the phone is dead!

(Jack Benny comes in soaked.)
Rochester: Is it rainin' outside?
Jack Benny: No, Rochester, I was eating a grapefruit and it got out of control.

Niles (an excuse to leave): Well, this has been kind of fun, but I must really run.  I'm conducting a seminar for multiple personality disorders and it takes forever to fill out the nametags.

Niles: I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, nonfat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing but not to leave me with a moustache.

Kevin: Yeah, but underneath all that stuff he's my kind of guy—naked.

Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Magic and Wizardry: It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts.  However, this mirror will give us neither knowledge nor truth.  Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they have seen, or have been driven mad, not knowing if what it shows is real or even possible.  It is no good to dream and forget to live.

Lee Jordan: And the Quaffle is taken immediately by Angelina Johnson of Gryffindor—what an excellent Chaser that girl is, and rather attractive, too.

Hermione: Aren’t you two ever going to read Hogwart’s, A History?

Ron: What’s the point?  You know it by heart; we can just ask you.

Sirius Black: If you want to know what a man is like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.

Dumbledore: It is our actions that make us who we are, far more than our abilities.

(After George has turned on numerous humidifiers and machines to aid his sleep)
George: The sound of that rain's gonna keep me up all night.
Seinfeld: I'm surprised you can hear it over there in Mission Control!

Martin: Boy, I whooped you—especially when I trapped your horse in the right corner.
Frasier: Let's call it a night, shall we?
Martin: Okay, when I trapped your knight in the corner.
Frasier: No, let's call it a night, Dad.

Frasier: My God, what was that?  Was that a gun? 

Martin: Niles bought a starter pistol to protect himself with.

Niles: And there's no need to get snippy.  Accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry.  Was I snippy?  I didn't realize that it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!

Waiter: Some people find that coffee blend too intense.
Daphne: I like something that holds its body on my tongue.
(Niles spills the cream all over the table.)

Frasier: I’ll go prepare the profiteroles.
Niles: I'll help.  He always overpowders.
Martin: I'm sure Old Man Kennedy felt this kind of pride when his boys would go out and play touch football.

Niles orders his steak: I'd like a, a petit filet mignon, very lean, not so lean that it lacks flavor, but not so fat that it leaves drippings on the plate.  And I don't want it cooked - just lightly seared on either side, pink in the middle; not a true pink, but not a mauve either, something in between, bearing in mind the slightest error either way, and it's ruined.

Nile's explanation for why he didn't listen to Frasier's show that afternoon: Oh, I'm sorry.  I meant to, but I had a crisis with a patient.  One of my multiples had a new personality emerge—a one-hundred-and-ten-year-old Frenchwoman.  It would have been too risky to put off his therapy.  Plus, I would have missed out on a wonderful recipe for bouillabaisse.

Frasier: I've done some research and I've discovered that most unexpected deaths occur in the home.  And Daphne, this is where you come in, the actual finding of the body.
Daphne:  Ooh, save the best part for me, eh?  Well, that's all right.  I'm a health care provider.  I've had my fair share of patients die on me.
Martin: That's a comfort.

Frasier: (looks at his watch)
Martin: I saw that!
Frasier: I'm not bored!  I was simply wondering how long we've been sitting here enjoying ourselves.

Martin: Oh, you have lots of girlfriends.
Niles: Oh, really?  Let's count. Maris.  There's Doris, my pen pal in 4th grade.  Then there's that girl who lured me to the stairwell to show me her underpants.

Martin: I invited her down to the corner bar.
Niles: Coroners have their own bar?
Martin: No, Niles!  Corner bar!

Cher: Do you prefer "fashion victim" or "ensemble-challenged"?

Frasier: Have you been seeing a man?
Daphne: Only when I close my eyes and concentrate.

Niles: Oh, I walked out all right.  And slammed the door behind me.  Of course, it was that Fourteenth Century Bavarian Cathedral door, so I had to get two of the servants to help me slam it, but what it lacked in spontaneity, it made up for in resonance.

Frasier (in response about Niles' childhood imaginary friend, Sheldon): Ah, yes, that troubled little fellow who was always wetting your bed.

Dr. Brown: He's in a '46 Ford; we're in a DeLorean.  He'd rip through us like we were tin foil.

Pippo Popolino: Don't be frightened, Francesca.  I'm scared enough for all of us.

Wally Campbell: Let's all drink gin and make wry (rye) faces.

Egbert: I went out with a girl once who told me to go jump in the lake... When I got back, she was gone.

Regina Lampert: I already know an awful lot of people and until one of them dies, I couldn't possibly meet anyone else.
Peter Joshua: Well, if anyone goes on the critical list, let me know.

Regina Lampert: Of course, you won't be able to lie on your back for a while, but then you can lie from any position, can't you?

Marvin the Martian: I claim this planet in the name of Mars!  Isn't that lovely?

Mr. Humphries: Are you free, Mr. Lucas?
Mr. Lucas: Well, you just seemed to catch me in the middle of nothing.

Charlie Chan: Grain of sand in eye may hide mountain.

Mayor John Pappas: Be careful how you judge people, most of all friends.  You don't sum up a man's life in one moment.  There's no simple yes or no.  A man's life is not the bricks.  It's the mortar—it's the stuff that lies between—the stuff you can't see.

George Bailey: Just remember this, Mr. Potter: that this rabble you're talking about, they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community.  Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath?

Guardian Angel Clarence: One man's life touches so many others, when he's not there it leaves an awfully big hole.

Harry Bailey: A toast to my big brother George.  The richest man in town!

W.C. Fields: That kid's so dumb, he doesn't even know what time it is.
Charley Frobisher: By the way, what time is it?

W.C. Fields: I don't know.

Tom Destry Jr.: Oh, I think I'll stick around.  Y'know, I had a friend once who used to collect postage stamps.  He always said the one good thing about a postage stamp: it always sticks to one thing 'til it gets there, y'know?  I'm sorta like that, too.

Kitty: I was reading a book the other day.
Mrs. Perishot (Nearly trips with surprise): Reading a book??  You??
Kitty: Yes. It's all about civilization or something.  A nutty kind of a book.  Do you know that the guy says that machinery is going to take the place of every profession?
Mrs. Perishot (Appraising her outfit): Oh, my dear girl.  That's something you need never worry about.

Count Dracula: Good evening, I am Dracula.  I bid you welcome.

Nicholas Van Ryn: But I will not live by ordinary standards.  I will not run with the pack.  I will not be chained into a routine of living, which is the same for others.  I will not look to the ground and move on the ground with the rest—so long as there are those mountaintops, and clouds, and limitless space.

Charlie Bowers: Is there anything I can do?
Chester Kent: Yeah.  See that window over there?
Charlie Bowers: Yes.
Chester Kent: Take a running jump, and I think you can make it.

Johnny Jones: I'm in love with you, and I want to marry you.
Carol Fisher: I'm in love with you, and I want to marry you.
Johnny Jones: Hmm... that cuts down our love scene quite a bit, doesn't it?

Editor: There are only three kinds of people in the world: thinkers, newspapermen and cattle.

Captain Daniel Gregg: You must make your own life amongst the living and, whether you meet fair winds or foul, find your own way to harbor in the end.

(WWII Radio broadcast from London)
Johnny Jones: Hello, America.  I've been watching a part of the world being blown to pieces.  A part of the world as nice as Vermont [siren sounds] and Virginia and California lies ripped up and bleeding like a steer in a slaughterhouse [bombs begin exploding].  Ok, I can't read the rest of this because the lights have gone out, so I'll just have to talk "off the cuff".  All that noise you hear isn't static—it's death, coming to London.  Yes, they're coming here now.  You can hear the bombs falling on the homes.  Don't tune me out, hang on a while—this is a big story, and you're part of it.  It's too late to do anything here now except stand in the dark and let them come... as if the lights were all out everywhere, except in America.  Keep those lights burning, cover them with steel, ring them with guns, build a canopy of battleships and bombing planes around them.  America, hang on to your lights: they're the only lights left in the world!

Mimi: I don't care what you did as a boy.
Guy: Well, I did nothing as a girl, so there goes my childhood.

Elwood P. Dowd: Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, doctor, and I'm happy to state that I finally won out over it.  C’mon, Harvey.

Bill Carter: If you never saw him before, why'd you let him kiss you?
Ethel Hillary: Well, after all, Bill, there is such a thing as hospitality.

Jack Benny: Age is strictly a case of mind over matter.  If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

John Cleese: I find it rather easy to portray an executive.  Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

Errol Flynn: My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

Spider Robbins: Where did you learn to sing, anyway?
Violet Jones: I spent four years in Paris. Of course, I'm not a virtuoso.
Spider Robbins: Not after four years in Paris, no.
Violet Jones: I trust we're both talking about the same thing?

Baravelli: You gotta brother?
Mullen: No.
Baravelli: You gotta sister?
Mullen: Yeah.
Baravelli: Well-a, you sister, she's a very sick man, you better come with us.
Mullen: Yeah?  What happened to her?
Baravelli: She hadda accident in her automobile.
McCarthy: She has no automobile.
Baravelli: Well-a, maybe she's-a fall off-a horse.  I don't-a look very close.  Come on, we take you in our car.
Mullen: You will, eh?  Well, I have no sister.
Baravelli: That's all right.  We no gotta car. Come on.

Lauren Bacall: You know how to whistle, don't you?  You just put your lips together and blow.

Audrey Hepburn: For a burglar, you're not very brave, are you?
Peter O’Toole: I'm a society burglar.  I don't expect people to rush about, shooting at me.

Lady Bracknell: Thirty-five is an attractive age.  London is full of women of the highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.

Gwendolyn Fairfax: I never travel without my diary.  One should always have something sensational to read on a train.

Peggy: Won't you join me in a glass of wine?
Professor Quail: You get in first, and if there's room enough, I'll join you.

Alexander Andrews: I asked you a simple question!  Do you love her?
Peter Warne: YES!!  But don't hold that against me; I'm a little screwy myself!

George Bailey: You sit around here and you spin your little webs and you think the whole world revolves around you and your money!  Well, it doesn't, Mr. Potter!  In the whole vast configuration of things, I'd say you were nothing but a scurvy little spider!

Dobson: Here, take this tea up to Aunt Matilda.
Eileen: How will I find her?
Dobson: Drunk, as usual.

Charles Pike: You ought to put handles on that skull.  Maybe you could grow geraniums in it.

Ginger Rogers: Hello? Is this the hotel manager?  It sounds like someone upstairs is playing musical chairs with an elephant.  Move one of them out, will you?  I want to get some sleep.

Waldo Lydecker: Love is eternal.  It has been the strongest motivation for human actions throughout history.  Love is stronger than life.  It reaches beyond the dark shadow of death.

Alfred Hitchcock: Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms.  And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.

Sam Spade: If you actually were as innocent as you pretend to be, we'd never get anywhere.

Mr. Osborne: Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

Joel Cairo: You always have a very smooth explanation...
Rudy: What do you want me to do, learn to stutter?

Patricia (admiringly): Hey, handsome. What kind of vitamins do you use?

Lorna Bounty: It is difficult for anyone to speak when you listen only to yourself.

Lieutenant: Nature is what we are put in this world to rise above.

Armand: They had forgotten the first lesson: that we must be powerful, beautiful, and without regret.

Jack Devlin: I reckon you've got to try a few things in life without a safety net.  How else are you going to know you're alive?

Eve Harrington: I will regard this great honor not so much as an award for what I have achieved, but a standard to hold against what I have yet to accomplish.

Colonel Haki: The most important thing to know about an assassination is not who fired a shot, but who paid for the bullet!

Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon.  That's impossible. Instead, try to realize the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Spoon boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: There is no spoon?
Spoon boy: Then you'll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.

Christof: Listen to me, Truman.  You can leave if you want; I won’t try to stop you.  But, you won’t survive out there.  I’ve watched you your whole life.  I saw you taking your first step, your first word, your first kiss.  I know you better than you know yourself.

Truman: You never had a camera inside my head.

Groucho: Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Groucho: Those are my principles.  If you don’t like them, I have others.

Groucho: I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

Eve Kendall: I'm a big girl.
Roger Thornhill: Yeah, and in all the right places, too.

Mrs. Doyle: When lovers see and like each other, they oughta come together—wham!—like a couple of taxis on Broadway, and not sit around analyzing each other like two specimens in a bottle.

Mr. Blandings: What's with this kissing all of a sudden?  I don't like it.  Every time he goes out of this house, he shakes my hand and kisses you!
Mrs. Blandings: Would you prefer it the other way around?

Don Juan: My dear friend, there's a little bit of Don Juan in every man, and since I am Don Juan, there must be more of it in me!

Tim: It’s nothing, Mary.  Just a private joke between me and whoever my analyst is going to be.

Jim Wright: If the Lord hadn't intended man to have a three-Martini lunch, then why do you suppose He put all those olive trees in the Holy Land?

Longfellow Deeds: People in this city are funny.  They work so hard at living they forget how to live.

Mr. Holland: Playing music is supposed to be fun.  It's about heart, it's about feelings, moving people, and something beautiful, and it's not about notes on a page.  I can teach you notes on a page, I can't teach you that other stuff.

Principal Jacobs: A teacher has two jobs; fill young minds with knowledge, yes, but more important, give those minds a compass so that knowledge doesn't go to waste.

William Hundert: Great ambition without contribution is without significance.

Heraclitus: You cannot step twice into the same river.  A missed opportunity is lost forever.

Judge: Are you trying to show contempt for this court?
Johnny: No, your honor, I'm doing my best to hide it!

Mrs. Reeves: I guess I'll run along.
Ronnie Hastings: Must you go?  I was just poisoning the tea.

Mr. White: That dress does things for you.  Doesn't do me any harm either.

Gideon: Well, I'm afraid I can't say anything good about her.
Cuthbert J. Twillie: I can see what's good.  Tell me the rest.

Godfrey: May I be frank?
Molly: Is that your name?

Narrator: There are eight million stories in the naked city.  This has been one of them.

Leon: It's midnight. Look at the clock, one hand has met the other hand, they kiss.  Isn't that wonderful?

Wile E. Coyote: Allow me to introduce myself.  My name is Wile E. Coyote, genius.  Let's get down to basics, you are a rabbit and I am going to eat you for supper.  Now, don't try to get away, I am more muscular, more cunning, faster and larger than you are, and I am a genius, while you could hardly pass the entrance examinations to kindergarten, so I'm going to give you the customary two minutes to say your prayers.
Bugs Bunny (dismissively): Sorry, Mac, the lady of the house ain't home and besides, we mailed you people a check last week.

Scarlet O’Hara: After all, tomorrow is another day. (with end music)

CC: Oh, I just could not get out of bed this morning.
Niles: Someone put a big rock over your coffin again?

Eloise: CC, you're so beautiful, I don't understand, are you single by choice?
Niles: Yes, but not hers.

Felix Ungar (waking up in the car): How long was I asleep?
Oscar Madison (driving): I don't know.  I didn't know you wanted me to time it.

Richard: Look, we have to have a plan, agreed?
Charles: Agreed.
Richard: Okay.  What do you think the plan should be?
Charles: I don't care.  I agreed.  I did my part.

Sheriff Buford T. Justice: There is no way—NO WAY—that you came from my genes!  The first thing I'm gonna do when I get home is punch your momma in the mouth!

Junior: My hat blew off, daddy.
Buford T. Justice: I hope your goddamn head was in it.

Linus Laraby: I pay for your life, David!  My life makes your life possible.

David Laraby: I resent that…

Linus Laraby: So do I!

Robert: You're a half hour late.
Larry: Only a half hour?  I'm usually forty-five minutes late.  I'm early today!

Lucy: There are just two things keeping me from dancing in that show.

Ricky: Your feet?

Brian: This isn't the White House.  George Washington hasn't slept here.
Justin: He's the only guy who hasn't.

(After Q introduces Bond to his successor)
James Bond: If you're Q, does that make him R?
R: Ah yes, the legendary 007 wit... or at least half of it.

Frank: It’s Christmas Eve!  It’s the one night of the year where, we smile a little easier, we laugh a little harder, and for a few hours out of the whole year, we are the people we want to be.  And if you waste that miracle, you'll burn for it.  Believe me: I know what I'm talking about!  But there are people in the world who are having a hard time making their miracle happen.  There are people out in the cold.  There are people who don't have enough to eat.  You can take an old blanket out of the closet and say "here" you can make them a sandwich and say "oh by the way, here".  And it's not just the poor and the hungry, it's all of us.  We need to keep that miracle alive.

Lt. Capt. James Doolittle: There's nothing stronger than the heart of a volunteer.

Captain Pierce: Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s perfect.  It just means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections.

Teacher: What did you choose as the Seven Wonders of the World?

Student: I chose ‘to see, to taste, to touch, to hear, to feel, to laugh, and to love’.

Harry Trimble: That's why we call it The Majestic.  Maybe you had worries and problems out there, but once you came through those doors, they didn't matter anymore.  And you know why?  That was Olympus.  I mean, this television thing.  Why would you want to stay at home and watch a little box?  Because it's convenient? Because you don't have to get dressed up, because you could just sit there?  How can you call that entertainment—alone in your living room?  Where's the other people?  Where's the audience?  Where's the magic?  I'll tell you, in a place like this, the magic is all around you.  You just have to see it.

Frank Sinatra: Every man dies, but not every man really lives.

Frost: I choose the road less traveled by and that has made all the difference.

Sylvester: The main trouble with the world is there are too many people who don’t know where they’re going, and they want to get there too fast. 

Grace: While I'm not religious in the traditional sense, I am not without faith because I have faith in humanity.  It's faith in people and their potential, that we're all fallible but also forgiving, that our own fragility can be the source of our greatest strength, if we can learn that the diffrences that separate us are dwarfed by the similarities that connect us.  And I have faith in you.

Somebody once said to me: ‘Johnny, you'll either end up sweeping the streets or owning them.’

It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself.

Cary Grant: My formula for living is quite simple.  I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night.  In between, I occupy myself as best I can.