Dating Tips

     I have a friend who's often complaining about her lack of a boyfriend, and she complains about meeting men.  She encounters them, goes on a date or two with some, and moves on.  Watching her in action, I gave her this advice.
     "You're not looking to meet someone.  You're looking to disqualify people," I said.  
     I explained, "It's a huge difference between the two!  In one, you're desiring to meet new people to add to your life.  In the other, you're managing a checklist to screen people and find whatever's wrong, in order to get rid of them.  When you go into something with that kind of mentality, you get what you seek.  If you're looking for problems/shortcomings, you'll find them.  Then, you're going to focus on those things and miss the beauty in the person, as well as their attributes that take time to discover.  It's not open-minded.  I'm sure the other person senses your energy, too, and that sabotages the dates further."
     Going on a date should be about overlooking differences, broadening perspectives, appreciating individuals, making a connection.  After all, you're intending to add a potential soul to your realm of existence.  See the film, "The 12 Dates of Christmas", which features a woman disregarding her perfect mate because of what she perceives as his shortcomings... until she finally alters her perspective.
     Maybe my friend has saturated in too much "reality TV", and she goes on dates to "get them over with".  It's no surprise that her life (heart) lacks passion/warmth, and her personality is a tad bitchy, unsatisfied, impatient, and stressed.  The energy you put out comes back to you.  Even someone who's only having casual sex with people is more authentic and less closed-minded... and probably happier.